Chester Wang
Please help me modify the following paragraph, thank you very much! "I got up this morning and saw that the heavy rain was falling and the sky was gray. After a while, the streets of the community became a wide river. Some people on the streets were wearing umbrellas and some wearing clothes. Slippers. Others wear raincoats, colorful and very beautiful. Some of the children are carried by adults, some are held by adults, and some are walked by themselves. People are walking with difficulty on the way to work and school. what! The rain came in real time. After the heavy rain, the trees were greener, and the air also had a fresh and moist fragrance. "
Oct 12, 2020 2:31 AM
Corrections · 3
Please help me modify the following paragraph, thank you very much! "When I got up this morning, I saw that a heavy rain was falling and the sky was gray. After a short while, the streets of the community literally became a wide river. Many people out on the streets were using umbrellas, while those without one were only wearing their wet clothes. A few even wore slippers! Others wore raincoats, some of which were colorful, if not beautiful. Some children were being carried by adults, some merely had their hand held by one, while some walked by themselves. Everyone had difficulty walking to work, to school, or to wherever they needed to go. Why? The rain had come down in earnest. After the heavy rain ended, the trees were greener, and the air also had a fresh and moist fragrance."
Hi Chester. Good job! I confess to having some trouble figuring out what you were trying to convey, so please accept my apologies if I have misinterpreted. You are also describing past events, yet, in one sentence (Some of the children are...) you use the present tense. Mixing tenses is okay, as long as it is logical, but here it is not since you are still describing what you saw earlier. I hope that this helps you.
October 12, 2020
Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!
Chester Wang
Language Skills
Chinese (Mandarin), English
Learning Language
English