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Jane
Right or wrong?

Today, right after my lunch, my mom called me to complain about my younger brother to me. She was so angry that her words tended to go to extreme.

My brother who had just graduated from  junior college refused to accept the job suggested by my mother'sister. According to what she said, he thought the not bad salary that job offerd was unbelievable and he still wanted to go out to find a jib with his friends in Hangzhou or to tempter himself. I actually support my brother to find his own way of life instead of following the  way my mom offers to him or doing no  matter what my mom tells him to do. She always says that she just wants us to suffer less and all she had done, is diong, and wil do is nothing but  good for us. And if we don't agree with her, She will be very angry and must say that you definitly will experience bad things and suffer, and then you will regret for not listening to me. It seems her words are everything, are the truth ! Mybe ! But we are young, we need experience not just from her or anyone else's telling but also our own firsthand observations, actions, and operations.

I always say to her that her words seems curses to me sometimes, and she is heartbroken. But what she have said makes me no choice, I have to let her know how I feel, in another words, I just want her to know my true feelings about her words. During this call, I told her my true feeling that I thought she had interrupted my brother's plan for letting him try anything once she knew and she thought it should not be missed. My brother needs a long time to make up his mind to do something he wants to do, finally, he does and becomes unshakeable, all we need to do is giving him encouragement and support him silently even though we know that he might waste a lot of time and fail in the end. That's his choice, he must know what he is gonna experience and is ready to accept whatever it comes. And when he can not bear the grief caused by his choice, he must need our understanding and comfort while those words, "Told you !" "I knew that you couldn't make it, and I was right !" " You just desire it !" or  "Give it up, and from now on, listen to me !" ......

She did not agree with me like she always does, and said;" Alright, alright! I can always be wrong and you are always right, so is this time. I am giong to hang up." Just after I said "Ok!“,the conversation was over!

Really! I just want to express my oppinion. But she might do not need it. I know All I need to do is to stand by her and say that she is right, and my brither is foolish enough for not listening to her. I never mean to heart her, but if I don;t say so, I will feel unfair for both my brother and I. We all need to experience, to fail, to suffer; and then to get lessons from our failures. We need to convence ourselves , to grow mentally by experience in the flesh sometimes, and that is something that nothing else can replace!

And I dono't want to tell who is right or wrong!

Jul 31, 2016 9:38 AM
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Comments · 5
Don't take things personally if they insult you directly ( b'c they don't tell that because of you, it's based on their beliefs and their opinion) ,we forgive other people because it give our become more happy , good for ourselves.and we can listen and obey your parents like help their houswork... consistenly but keep your dream and pursuit it everyday oprah winfrey: " I was looking around my way through what felt like the right thing but what I knew was that whatever the right thing was, it wasn't good to be what everybody else told me it was.." If you want to be good some area, you must find role model and follow them and you will succeed faster
July 31, 2016
Thank you , all of you,Taeny-Sone, Elena, Aegis, and Sudeep! I feel much better after reading your words. I actually have tried to talk with her face to face about my feelings and thoughts not once, but I failed almost every time. Maybe I was not that polite and sweet, or I did not make up my mind strongly so that I gave in to her after our arguement. I think it will be very hard to have her listened to my explanation with her continuous interrupting as long as she cannot accept waht I have just said, she will just say no once she thinks what I want to do is unacceptable,  unreality, or beyound of her awareness. Maybe my expression was not clear or I just had said something incorrect, or I just shouldn't do it ! Still, I am gonna keeping trying, so I will take your oppinions into consideration seriously and I may try to do something different.
August 1, 2016

I read your whole text and understood your feeling.It happens almost with everyone,also happened to me .The reason is that parents especially mothers are more concern about their son/daughter.They always want their welfare,they always want to see them well-settled and they themselves don't need anything.They most of the time talk with us politely and sweetly but when we don't listen to them,then obviously they are also human ,so raised their voice which seems a bit odd to us and we feel bad.But their intention is never to make us upset or feel unhappy.They always think about our future and they have the right to think so as we are their responsibility and if something happened us or there will be any trouble in our future then they will never forgive themselves.But most of us don't think about this and stick to their words which are I think not correct.

In that situation,we should feel less sad and try to talk with them politely and sweetly and should try to talk with them about our interests and goals and me pretty sure that they must listen to us as they always want us to share our thoughts and ideas with them.I've done this and observed one thing in my mother's face and her was curiousness to know more about my interest and goles with a smiley face(it doesn't matter to them whether your ideas are worthy or futile).So they only need us to share our ideas with them(it doesn't matter whether they understand or not)and not to ignore them by avoiding whatever they say.

So I think you can make her understand and I'm sure that she will definitely listen to you if you speak to her politely and sweetly.Try it once.Thank you:)

July 31, 2016

Actually, this isn't a problem at all, as I will explain. In China, at the time you were born, families were only allowed to have one child. Therefore, you don't really have a brother. This might come as a surprise to you, but in reality you just had a bad dream, and when you wake up, you will be in a perfect, happy world with lots of bunnies and unicorns. Problem solved :)

July 31, 2016

       Parents are not always right actually. When I was 11, they tried to force me to give up English study and to study Olympian math, which almost every child was studying. Though I was a bit good at it, but I didn't like it at all. So I really made a big debate against them, and finally, they had to agree with me, so I was able to continue my English study...

      Every time when I see others struggling with English, I become so greatful that I made this wonderful choice 6 years ago. I really think it a shame to follow parents all the time. You can consider their opinions, but you're the one to decide, coz this is your life your future, not theirs.

July 31, 2016
Jane
Language Skills
Chinese (Mandarin), English, Korean
Learning Language
English, Korean