Sanny
毒 poison

My preference. English errors This are my comments <em>- Jeff</em>

 

一粒罂粟                A grain of the opium poppy  One grain of poppy seed

<a name="OLE_LINK11"></a>在无人荒谷             In <a name="OLE_LINK12"></a>the desolate valley       In a desolate valley.

花开的绚烂             Flowers bloom brilliantly       Flowers bloom in brilliance

<a name="OLE_LINK14"></a><a name="OLE_LINK13"></a>闪耀了我的双目<a name="OLE_LINK23"></a>    Shining in my eyes.         Dazzling my eyes.

淡然凋去                 Withered lightly.                    Withering without fanfare

似从未绽出             As if it never had bloomed.          

不再的光华<a name="OLE_LINK17"></a>            The brilliance that had gone.  No longer is it colorful

深藏了<a name="OLE_LINK19"></a><a name="OLE_LINK18"></a>我的际遇    My experiencehidden deeply But buried deeply is my experience

无谓的幸福            The Meaningless happiness

无谓的痛苦            The Meaningless pain

你不是我的花儿    You're not my flower

<a name="OLE_LINK20"></a>只是心中解不了的毒Only But the poison remained in my heart without no cure removing.

 

Very moving.

Jun 15, 2012 1:02 AM
Comments · 8

<em>Your poetry would please the Emperor Jeff! <img title="Smile" src="http://www.italki.com/Scripts/tinymce/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-smile.gif" alt="Smile" border="0" /> (Thank-you for the kind word too<img title="Embarassed" src="http://www.italki.com/Scripts/tinymce/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-embarassed.gif" alt="Embarassed" border="0" />)</em>

<em>Traditional Chinese art (symbology) and poetic values are seemingly beautiful! Chinese traditional art can be expressed by this Sufi Complete Saying:  </em>

<em>'True art does not take man away from nature; on the contrary, it brings him closer to her'. </em>

June 16, 2012

You need not to be so logical in poetry.  Opium conjures up of horrendious sufferings and loss of national pride besides its poison effects.  This is especially so for a Chinese.  I suppose you never studied the "Opium Wars".

June 16, 2012

Whoa!!!!  I see a mistress poet here!  Well said.  Even in Chinese art, less is beautiful.  The Chinese, at least those with traditional thinking and training, love the oblique and indirectness.  Whatever artform it expresses, those that make the viewer think or guess is the best.

 

For example, here's a story about the Sung Dynasty Emperor Hui Tsung.  He is a patron of the arts and a great artist himself.  Once, during an examination for court artists, the theme was "Hidden in the mountains lies an ancient monastry monastry" 「深山藏古寺」.  Many drew visages of some temple architecture in the mountains.  All these did not please the emperor until he saw this one:  A tiny creek flowing through the mountains.  And by the bank, a monk was seen drawing water from the creek!

June 16, 2012

Haha. Poison of misery. Really good point.

June 15, 2012

<em>You can say that again, from what I've read.</em> <img title="Tongue Out" src="http://www.italki.com/Scripts/tinymce/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-tongue-out.gif" alt="Tongue Out" border="0" /><em>If opium is misery and posion creates misery, are't misery and poison the same?</em>  <em>Therefore opium is a posion of misery.</em>

June 15, 2012
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Sanny
Language Skills
Chinese (Mandarin), English, Spanish
Learning Language
English, Spanish