Hi, Freedom. First, you are not worthless. Please do not think that way. Second, perhaps you need to change the way you are learning English, as obviously, the current way is not working for you. Third, it does not mean that you are less intelligent, or anything like that, but instead, simply that that way of learning, of studying, isn’t working for you. We are all different, and we each learn best in our unique way, so you need to find it. Finally, as you have access to the internet, visit learningenglish.britishcouncil.org as it has everything you will need to learn English. You can also search for the Voice of America (VOA) website, as it, too, has learning materials. YouTube also has ESL videos and materials. I, and numerous others, are here on iTalki, so please reach out to us, we’ll be glad to help you. Best of luck.