Andrea
Can someone correct my essay? In the last two years, I have traveled to Israel and Germany. These two counrtries are characterized by many differences. First of all, the weather. Israel is the homeland of sun, and desert cover a big amoung of the area. Rainfall are slight over the year and winter season seems not be present. On the contrary, in Germany the sun is always hidden by a thick cloud layer, and the temperature go down rapidly early in autumn until late spring. In this cold territory, landscapes are dominated by forest and the long Reno river go through these. Also due to these territorials and climate contrasting features, the two countries had developed distinctive diet habits. In Israel I found vegetables and fruits who I had never seen, stranger citrus and fruits with unusually shapes. Pork is prohibited, as also horse and sheep. On the other hand, food in Germany is more limitated in terms of fresh products. Most of it is imported and it has a negative impact to its quality...
Nov 15, 2017 2:17 PM
Answers · 8
And here's a rewrite example (not every part I rephrased means it was wrong - I used alternate phrases liberally). In the past two years, I have toured Israel and Germany. These two counrtries are very different in many ways. First of all, the weather. Israel is drenched in sun and desertS cover a big portion of its land. Rainfall is meager throughout the year, while the winter season barely exists. In contrast, the sun in Germany seems always covered by a thick layer of clouds, and the temperature drops rapidly in early autumn and stays low until late spring. The landscapes of this cold territory is dominated by forests and the long Rhine river that winds through it. Owing to these contrasting terrestrial and climatic features, the two countries have developed distinctive diet habits. In Israel I found vegetables and fruits that I had never seen before, such as strange citruses and exotic fruits with unusual shapes. Pork is prohibited, as are horse meat and mutton. On the other hand, foods in Germany are more limited in terms of freshness. Most of them are imported, which seems to have a negative impact on its quality.
November 15, 2017
I willl mark the wrong or unnatural sounding words and phrses wrong with '*' below. In the last two years, I have traveled to Israel and Germany. These two counrtries are characterized by many differences. First of all, the weather. Israel is *the homeland of sun* (-> a country blessed with abundant sun), and *desertS cover a big *amounT (-> portion) of the area (-> land). Rainfall *are (->is) slight *over (-> through / throughout) the year and (THE) winter season seems not *be (->REMOVE) present. *On the contrary* (-> In contrast), in Germany the sun is always hidden by a thick cloud layer, and the temperature *go(->goes; ->drops) down rapidly early in autumn until late spring. In this cold territory, (THE) landscapes are (-> landscape is) dominated by *forests and the long *Reno (? Isn't it in Italy?) river go through these. Also due to these *territorials (-> terrestrial) and *climate (climatic) *contrasting (->REMOVE) features, the two countries *had (-> have) developed distinctive diet habits. In Israel I found vegetables and fruits *who (-> that) I had never seen (BEFORE), *stranger (->strange) citrus and fruits with *unusually (->unusual) shapes. Pork is prohibited, as *also (->are) horse (MEAT) and *sheep (-> mutton) . On the other hand, food in Germany is more *limitated (->limited) in terms of *fresh products* (-> freshness). Most of it is imported and it has a negative impact *to (->on) its quality...
November 15, 2017
Thank you Lovepreet :)
November 15, 2017
Dear you wrote wrong spelling of countries and one grammatical error,you wrote who to fruits.Although,who is wrong.Howeve,you have to usewhich.Otherwise,remain whole essay is correct as per my opinion.
November 15, 2017
Still haven’t found your answers?
Write down your questions and let the native speakers help you!
Andrea
Language Skills
English, Italian
Learning Language
English