I need help with a Japanese Haiku I need to know if this follows the rules of a traditional Japanese haiku as well as if it's any good. My Japanese is still very much at a beginning level but it's ver

Chandra

I need help with a Japanese Haiku I need to know if this follows the rules of a traditional Japanese haiku as well as if it's any good. My Japanese is still very much at a beginning level but it's very important to me that this haiku be in Japanese and it will be read by a fluent Japanese speaker. I have made sure to add a Kigo and a Kireji, mostly I am concerned about if it follows the 5-7-5 rule and if it makes any sense. Thank you for any and all help 夜寒月寂しい思いや一緒に太陽

Oct 23, 2018 12:28 AM

Answers · 4

Unfortunately, your haiku doesn't follow the rules of haiku. I'm not good at haiku, but I know some rules. Before explaining, I present a famous haiku. 「古池や　蛙飛びこむ　水の音」 by松尾芭蕉(Matsuo Bashou) （ふるいけや　かわずとびこむ　みずのおと） Old pond frog jumps the sound of water →The ancient pond / A frog leaps in / The sound of the water. (Transrated by Donald Keene) 【Basic 2 Rules】 ①Haiku needs one "season word(季語: kigo)" in one sentence. In this example, the "season word" is 蛙(かわず). The frog appears in spring in Japan, so 蛙 is a spring's season word. By the way, 月 is a autumn's season word. Because the moon gets beautiful in autumn. The air of autumn is clear. It depends on Japanese climate. ②Haiku has 17 sounds in hiragana. (5+7+5=17) Your haiku in hiragana, 「寒い夕方冬の月を見るや一緒に太陽」さむいゆうがた　ふゆのつきを　みるや　いっしょに　たいよう (25 sounds) There are too many sounds... I think that the first rules is difficult. Therefore, I recommend making haiku within 17 sounds. The second rule is easier than first one. Good luck!!

October 23, 2018

Still haven’t found your answers?

Write down your questions and let the native speakers help you!