JessiešŸ’žIsabella
Part 2) Secondly, people can start learning art or music at any age, but they need to study practical courses like math and science from young age to prepare for their future career. For example, a very successful artist started painting when she was eighty. Before that, she had never learned painting or done anything related to it. However, she soon showed her brilliance in art and became a famous painter in landscape painting. This example illustrates that Itā€™s never too late to pick up a painting brush or an instrument. Because children already have a number of classes to deal with, I donā€™t think we should add more pressure to them by requiring art and music study at school. To conclude, I believe young students have many resources and opportunities to study art and music out of school, and people can begin learning and practice them at any stage of their life. Hence, I suggest education institutions make the two subjects optional but not required ones.
Dec 2, 2022 1:07 PM
Corrections Ā· 4
In addition, people can start learning about the arts at any age. For example, a very successful artist started painting when she was eighty. Before that, she had never studied painting or done anything related to it. However, even at her advanced age, she quickly showed her brilliance and became a famous landscape painter. However when it comes to science careers, students need progressive courses in math and science from a young age to sufficiently prepare. Since it's never too late to pick up an artistic skill, I donā€™t think we should add more pressure on children, who already have a number of classes to deal with, by study of the arts at school. To conclude, I believe young students have many resources and opportunities to study and experience the arts outside of the school setting, and people can begin learning and practice these skills at any stage of their life. Therefore I suggest educational institutions make the two subjects optional.
I think you can merge these paragraphs with Part 1. You might consider revising that skill in any art can be picked up later in life. For example, it is quite difficult to learn a musical instrument as an adult and certain dance forms like ballet must be studied in childhood in order to advance. It's also true that some parents might never expose their children to the arts and therefore if the school doesn't either the child may not get much arts education.
December 19, 2022
Part 2) Secondly, people can start learning art or music at any age, but they need to study practical courses like math and science from young age to prepare themselves for their future careers. For example, a very successful artist started painting when she was eighty. Before that, she had never learned painting or done anything related to it. However, she soon showed her brilliance in art and became a famous landscape painter. This example illustrates that itā€™s never too late to pick up a painting brush or an instrument. (If she had started earlier, she might have enjoyed her life more!) Because children already have a great number of classes to deal with, I donā€™t think we should add more pressure to them by requiring art and music study at school. To conclude, I believe young students have many resources and opportunities to study art and music outside of school, and people can begin to learn and practice them at any stage of their lives. Hence, I suggest educational institutions make the two subjects optional.
Generally ok. The example is too long and doesnā€™t really prove anything as itā€™s just one person.
December 2, 2022
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