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Japan flagNaka
As I’m a mother of two children, every day I realize how difficult raising children is. Though people have different opinions about how to raise children, I think it’s not good to hit children when they have done something bad.This is because children learn by imitating adults, so adults should be role models for children. I mean, if parents use violence to their children, children would become violent. On the other hand, if parents are too kind, children would become arrogant. Children would not listen to their parents. So I think when parents discipline children,they should be strict,but without using violence. Personally,giving a reward to children for their good behavior or outcome might be a good idea. By doing so, parents can motivate their children.Alternatively, if children behave badly,taking away their favorite things, such as tablets and games, would be effective.

Corrections · 6

1
As a mother of two children, I realize how difficult raising children is every day. Though people have different opinions about how to raise children, I think it’s not good to hit children when they have done something bad. This is because children learn by imitating adults, so adults should be role models for children. I mean, if parents use violence against their children, children would become violent too. On the other hand, if parents are too kind, children would become arrogant. Children would not listen to their parents. So I think when parents discipline children, they should be strict, but without using violence. Personally, I think giving a reward to children for their good behavior or achievement might be a good idea. By doing so, parents can motivate their children. Alternatively, if children behave badly, it would be effective to take away their favorite things, such as their tablets and games.
Good composition! 👍 Here are some related vocabulary words for you: lenient, lax, corporal punishment, spanking.
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As I’m a mother of two children, I realize how difficult raising children is every day. Though people have different opinions about how to raise children, I think it’s not good to hit children when they have done something wrong. This is because children learn by imitating adults, so adults should be role models for children. I mean, if parents use violence to discipline their children, children will become violent. On the other hand, if parents are too kind, children will become arrogant and not listen to them. So I think when parents discipline children,they should be strict, but without using violence. Personally,giving a reward to children for their good behavior or outcome, might be a good idea. By doing so, parents can motivate their children. Alternatively, if children behave badly, taking away their favorite things, such as tablets and games, will be effective in enforcing/instilling/ensuring discipline.
Very well written Naka. Well done!! You used the first conditional and therefore the result clause was amended.

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