Writing Practice (This is TOEFL iBT Writing practice. I'd like to write in formal and academic style.) (Question) Many people visit museums when they travel to new places. Why do you think people

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Writing Practice (This is TOEFL iBT Writing practice. I'd like to write in formal and academic style.) (Question) Many people visit museums when they travel to new places. Why do you think people visit museums? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. (My Answer) Many people prefer to visit museums when they travel to new places. I believe that people go there to achieve information. It is because information in museums are enormous and sophisticated. First, there are so many information in museums that we can understand deeply the place. In addition, museums covers lots of fields, like history, technology and nature. As an example, when I traveled Cairo, I went to a national museum. I could learn history of Egypt and traditional customs only in 3 hours and easily broaden my knowledge. To be sure, some people prefer to read guide book in advance to get information because they can save time. However, real exhibition give me far more impression than books or magazines do. Thus, I don't forget those information. As the above examples illustrates, we can achieve lots of information in museum. Second, information in museum is sophisticated because most of museum are approved by government. Accordingly, we can get accurate information and doesn't misunderstand of the new place. For instance, when I traveled India, I tried to learn the origin of the name of the city. I had two guidebooks and both says different opinion. People in the city were not also familiar with it. Finally, I went to the city museum and got right information. Indeed, some people don't rely on accurate information because they like to attain their subjective impression. Nonetheless, I think we should try to attain objective idea first in new place otherwise we might have prejudice of new place. As can be seen in the above examples, museums provide us sophisticated information. In conclusion, we go to museum when we travel unfamiliar place because of quantity and quality of the information. In conclusion,

Sep 14, 2011 4:55 PM

Corrections · 1

Writing Practice

(This is TOEFL iBT Writing practice. I'd like to write in formal and academic style.)

(Question)
Many people visit museums when they travel to new places. Why do you think people visit museums?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

(My Answer)
Many people prefer to visit museums when they travel to new places. I believe that people go there to achieve get some (you can achieve a goal, bnut not information. You can get or recieve information) information. It is because information in museums are enormous and is sophisticated and its amount is enormous.

First, there are is (information is noncountable noun) so many much information in the museums that we can understand deeply the place deeply (word order). In addition, museums covers lots of fields, like history, technology, and nature. As an example, when I traveled to Cairo, I went to a national museum. I could learn history of Egypt and traditional customs only in 3 hours and easily broaden my knowledge. To be sure, some people prefer to read guide book in advance to get information because they can save time. However, real exhibitions give me far more impression than books or magazines do. Thus, I don't forget those that information. As the above examples illustrates, we can achieve lots of information in museum.

Second, information in museum is sophisticated because most of museum are approved by the government. Accordingly, we can get accurate information and doesn't do not misunderstand of the new place. For instance, when I traveled to India, I tried to learn the origin of the name of the city. I had two guidebooks and both says gave different opinions. People in the city were not also familiar with it. Finally, I went to the city museum and got the right information. Indeed, some people don't rely on accurate information because they like to attain their subjective impression. Nonetheless, I think we should first try to attain objective idea first in a new place; otherwise, we might have become prejudiced of new this place. As can be seen in the above examples, museums provide us with sophisticated information.

In conclusion, we go to museums when we travel to unfamiliar place because of quantity and quality of the information.

In conclusion,