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Jessie💞Isabella
(Isabella’s writing practice)Last week, I discovered that one of my classmates already had a boyfriend. I was shocked because I didn’t know that a girl who is barely a teenager can have a boyfriend, shocked that the teachers did not find out about it(they are in the same class). The boy was not very serious about his studies, the girl was exactly the opposite. So I was very surprised that they decided to be together. The girl likes to hang out with other boys. Once she touched a boy’s abs in front of her boyfriend, and the boy she touched was her boyfriend’s friend. That kind of thing went on and on. The girls boyfriend got kind of jealous and once after the girl hanged out with a boy her boyfriend didn’t particularly like, he started to get super jealous. He was jealous but could not do anything about it, because the girl did not actually cheat. And so he was stuck between wanting to say something about it but afraid of people saying that he was too possessive. He was not happy and so cried his eyes out in the cafeteria for all to see. I didn’t have the opportunity to see it, but my classmate said that it involved sobbing, snot and big juicy tears.
Jun 29, 2023 4:14 PM
Corrections · 2
1
(Isabella’s writing practice) Last week, I discovered that one of my classmates already has a boyfriend. I was shocked because I didn’t know that a girl who is barely a teenager can have a boyfriend and shocked that the teachers haven’t found out about it (they are in the same class). The boy is not very serious about his studies, the girl is exactly the opposite. So I was very surprised that they decided to be together. The girl likes to hang out with other boys (she is not a boy. I suppose you mean boys who aren’t her boyfriend) . Once she touched a boy’s abs in front of her boyfriend , and the boy she touched was her boyfriend’s friend. That kind of thing went on and on. The girl’s boyfriend got kind of jealous and once, after the girl hung out with a boy her boyfriend didn’t particularly like, he started to get super jealous. He was jealous but could not do anything about it, because the girl did not actually cheat. And so he was stuck between wanting to say something about it but afraid of people saying that he was too possessive. He was not happy and so cried his eyes out in the cafeteria for all to see. I didn’t have the opportunity to see it, but my classmate said that it involved sobbing, snot and big juicy tears.
This is good but the tenses are a bit mixed. You say you only found out last week but phrases like “that thing went on and on“ suggest you have known about it for ages. Also the last part suggests they might not still be together. There’s no right or wrong age to have a boyfriend/girlfriend as long as you are happy.
June 29, 2023
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