黑暗啊 黑暗啊， 你是内心深处的一片不明物， 纠缠着我， 无法挣脱。 黑暗啊， 你是房间里的寂寞， 虽然无形， 却深深感触。 黑暗啊， 你让我总是纠结于某事， 钻进牛角尖， 跳不出来。 黑暗啊， 你侵蚀着我那颗血红的心， 它快变黑了， 我该奔向光明。 黑暗啊， 饶了我好吗， 为何总是让我心生懒惰， 我要抛弃你！

stay with families When I was alone and worked in another city, i felt very lonely. After working back to rent house, i did nothing but kept with internet things. My heart is very weak and small. As I could not stand up with such life there, I went back to home. I have had no job for one month. Every day seems to be very blank. I have stayed with my parents for nearly one month. Though I want to make sure that what I can do for my career, I still haven't thought of any ideas. Maybe I am not patient enough. Whatever I did with my job before, I would feel tiresome with it after a long time. Or I think it is useless for the development of my future career. This youth seems no hope. My heart is hopelessly apathetic. I should not keep these pathetic feelings. It is better to encourage myself to do anything I want. Currrently, I hope to find a job in my countryside. Maybe the salary is very low. But I don't need to pay for rent. If I can, I can save more money. I really would like to visit the world as long as I have enough money. My parents are too kind. I am 25. It is really a shame to live with parents without job. The kinder they treat me, the more ashamed I feel. What a shame!

Current Life Still, I haven't found my direction. It is my problem. I think I have mental issue. I don't want to give a call to anybody which may be my parents, sister and brother. I don't think I have good friends as we don't connect with each other for a long time. When they need you, they will find you. This is not a real friendship. I speak a little in the office. I eat alone, walk alone, think alone. My heart is too small to hold someone. I have thought about suicide for many times. But I fear if I were dead, my parents would feel very sad. I never think of getting married. However, my career does not develop very well. I want to quit again. I has been a year since I stay in the company. Everything seems too bad. The headache makes me sick. The pain in the neck also get me desperate. I don't believe the world agrees me to keep alive. Ingore these stupid thoughts if you happen to read my entry. I have not written something here for a very long time. All I wrote is about the complaints of life which is meaningless for me. My head is odd. The brain often thinks something rediculous. I am badly ill in spirit. I need a psychology doctor. But I am too poor to afford this. What a pity!

what is ergonomic mouse mean? Can any friends help me with the question? Thanks.

hard to say 岁月， 如沙一般流走。 思想， 似幼稚儿一样。 心扉， 没人帮我打开。 嫌弃， 连自己都厌恶。 他人， 更是不能爱惜。 音乐， 也许唯一解药。 沟通， 永远未给机会。 脑袋， 时而麻痹昏厥。 社会， 似乎永不融入。 什么， 才是我真动力。

I feel I am dying Have you ever had a feeling When you feel no strengh with you Your body is so weak You don't wanna think You just want to sleep You hate your work You want to leave the world for so many times But, you don't have courage to do anything You don't want to hear any suggestions You are eager to leave the world alone You will not tell any friends about your damn problem again You feel very tired Your head is dizzy You have a stomachache You cannot think anything Gosh!!!

A Dream I run so fast, You hold my hand, And ask me not to be crazy But you drop my hand at last I feel I were in a dream, yes dream broke You have appeared in my dreams for so many times Once upon a time, you shout that she is your girl I happen to hear your words You won't know my heart get hurt I don't know why I care you so much We are becoming more and more mature， You must marry some girl I am concerned about it, I even worry about that When we were students in primary school, middle school, and high school We were classmates for about eight years I pretended not to care about you I tried to hate you I thought I could forget you But I failed You are my drug You know, my heart will be broken If you get married with some girl No, you won't get it God is harsh Why did he let me meet you when I was a child

What is wrong with he? He has a new girl friend. Though I have never been his, I am angry with this. Why does that happen? Am I wrong? Why I admire him? Is it worth doing so? I want to shout out loud. Since I was young in grade 2 at primary school. I have known him. He was so charming. But I was not brave enough to tell him. Now, newbie has come. No chance any more. I just. just complain it. I never dare to image to be his girl. OK. I'd better shut up. Love is not everything. Shut up!

Lose My Soul Ever had a great dream, Ever held a hope, Ever studied hard, Ever desired to earn much, Ever wanted to change my attitude, Ever not stayed up at school, Ever not so disappaired, Ever not often wept, Ever not hated everything, Ever not feel so helpless, My heart is so empty, I feel no soul with me, Who's there hearing me crying? Who's there for me to love? Who's there teaching me how to get through? At this age, Direction is quite perplexed, My heart is beating, My soul is losing, Help! Help!