My opinion is if you can't achieve your aim this way don't be disappointed and try to find another way!!! or just think one more time - do you really need it? Maybe it's worth changing a little bit your purposes. If I was in the same situation I would make a pause.. have a rest, and then with new soul power I would start to make my dreams come true. Don't feel sad!!!! I'm sure your life is not wasted!!! Remember that if God gives us difficulties we'll become stronger and more experianced... So keep your head up! Good luck for you! I wish you to fulfil your dreams!