Im being dramatically ridiculous. Have you ever fought with yourself? I mean have you ever had that moment when you know excatly what you're supposed to do, but you keep doing the opposite? I don't know why it always happens to me. Honestly, i thought I was mentally ill then a strange idea came to my mind and I thought maybe what im doing is just not my thing, but, hey, I want it so bad! What should I do? Give up? No way. Im not doing this only for myself but also for my beloved. Ahhhh Im stressed! :(