I talked about my summer vacation in the previous post. I'm going to talk more about my summer vacation.
I went near the sea with my high school friends. It was scary because there was no sea in my hometown, but it was fun. I ate seafood and pasta there. We stayed at the inn, but there were a lot of insects because it was old. I didn't like insects, so it wasn't comfortable. We also went to a large aquarium. It was so spacious that I spent five hours there. I especially like penguins. The summer was very hot and windy, but I'm glad that I was able to make good memories with my friends.
Tìm kiếm từ nhiều giáo viên Tiếng Anh...
Bài chữa · 1
0
In my previous post, I wrote about my summer vacation, but I have a bit more to share! I went on a trip near the coast with my high school friends. Coming from a landlocked prefecture, being right by the ocean was a bit intimidating at first, but it ended up being a lot of fun. We enjoyed some local seafood and pasta, and stayed at a traditional inn. However, because the building was quite old, there were quite a few bugs, which made it a bit uncomfortable since I'm not a fan of insects.
We also visited a massive aquarium. It was so huge that we ended up spending five hours there! I have a special fondness for penguins, so seeing them was a highlight. Even though the summer weather was scorching and very windy, I'm so glad I was able to make such wonderful memories with my friends."
Perfectly understandable, with some nice detai! I think B1 level.Key changes include..
- Repeating "summer vacation" and "talk about" twice in a row sounds repetitive and robotic in English. Combining these thoughts into a single, flowing sentence using a conjunction ("but") creates a more natural, engaging blog-post or diary style.
- Use of reduced adverbial clause to avoid the repetition of "I".(Coming from a landlocked..)
- "...and stayed at a traditional inn. However, because the building was quite old, there were quite a few bugs, which made it a bit uncomfortable since I'm not a fan of insects."
"However" and "which made it..." connects the ideas smoothly instead of having short, choppy sentences.
- Changed "spacious" (which usually describes an empty room or building feeling roomy) to "huge" or "massive", which fits a large public aquarium better.
Happy studying! 😀
Bạn muốn tiến bộ xa hơn?
Hãy tham gia cộng đồng học tập này và thử nghiệm những bài tập miễn phí!
Đừng bỏ lỡ cơ hội học ngoại ngữ ngay tại nhà. Hãy xem danh sách các gia sư ngôn ngữ giàu kinh nghiệm của chúng tôi và đăng ký buổi học đầu tiên ngay hôm nay!
Bắt đầu học hôm nay
