Is "veiled twilight behind the shrouded curtain of the dome" describing the same thing from the following? What should I pay attention to if I rewrite or paraphrase a text? I appreciate any technique for word choice, mood, active or passive voice, etc.

So, I personally like to wake up in the early hours of the morning, that twilight time, just before birdsong starts to fill the air.

You know, when you can still see stars poking through the fabric of the night.

I love that time of the morning, the stillness, the quiet.

Question

Is "veiled twilight behind the shrouded curtain of the dome" describing the same thing from the following? What should I pay attention to if I rewrite or paraphrase a text? I appreciate any technique for word choice, mood, active or passive voice, etc.

So, I personally like to wake up in the early hours of the morning, that twilight time, just before birdsong starts to fill the air.

You know, when you can still see stars poking through the fabric of the night.

I love that time of the morning, the stillness, the quiet.

Answer

Hi Rex,
The word "dome" has a feeling of very solid material.  It makes the feeling I get from reading it heavy and like "steampunk" instead of the "light, airy" feeling of a quiet morning that the second example give me.

If you replaced "dome" with a word that is "light and airy" I think it would have the same feeling.  For example maybe use:  "veiled twilight behind the shrouded curtain where the night flows into morning."

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