Bài chữa · 4
First notebook entry: Introducing myself
I've had to rewrite your text. WHEN YOU WRITE LIKE THIS YOU SOUND ANGRY. ;)
My name is Giordana. I'm thirty-six years old, I'm a lawyer and I want to improve my English. I don't have children nor am I married, because I believe the marriage is only a contract. I do have a boyfriend of forty years, whose name is Mauro, but I prefer to live alone. I live in Rome, in the centre of the city, so every day I meet a lot of foreign people!!! I have loved and I go in for classical dance, since 1977, when I was only three years old. I love going to the cinema and to the theatre, especially during the winter. I love cheesecake, but we don't make it in Italy!!
I made some very thorough corrections. Just a couple of comments:
- when you use since, it only goes with present perfect (I have loved) or past perfect (I had loved). This is because you are connecting an earlier action with a later action.
- "...going to the cinema" acts as a "what" in the sentence because the action has -ing (=action presented as a thing). What do you love? Going to the cinema.
- the winter means a specific winter: this winter or last winter. To mean any winter, just use "winter".
- "cook" means using heat, and also implies the food is hot when you eat it. For desserts, salads and other cold dishes, use make.
Hope that helps!
First notebook entry: Introducing myself
MY NAME IS GIORDANA, I'M 36 YEARS OLD. I'M A LAWYER AND I WANT TO LEARN ENGLISH BETTER. I HAVEN'T CHILDREN AND I'M NOT MARRIED BECAUSE THE MARRIAGE IS ONLY A CONTRACT.........I HAVE A BOY FRIEND 40 YEARS OLD, WHOSE NAME IS MAURO, BUT I PREFER LIVE ALONE. I LIVE IN ROME, IN THE CENTER OF THE CITY, SO EVERY DAY I MEET A LOT OF FOREIGN PEOPLE!!! I LOVE AND I GO IN FOR CLASSIC DANCE, SINCE 1977, WHEN I WAS 3 YEARS OLD. I LOVE GO TO THE CINEMA AND TO THE THEATRE ESPECIALLY DURING THE WINTER. I LOVE CHEESE CAKE, BUT WE DON'T COOK IT IN ITALY!!
My name is Giordana, and I'm 36 years old. I'm a lawyer, and I would like to improve my English. I don't have children, and I'm not married because marriage is only a contract. Although I have a boyfriend, I prefer to live alone. My boyfriends' name is Mauro. Every day I meet a lot of foreigners because I live in the center of Rome. I love Classic Dance which I have been studying since I was three years old. I love to go to the cinema and theatre, especially during the winter. I also love cheese cake, but we don't make that kind of cake in Italy.
Ciao Giordana. Though I'm not a native speaker I made a few suggestions. Maybe an native speaker will give you a second opinion. By the way, interesting description!
First notebook entry: Introducing myself
MY NAME IS GIORDANA, I'M 36 YEARS OLD. I'M A LAWYER AND I WANT TO (IMPROVE MY ENGLISH) LEARN ENGLISH BETTER. I HAVE NO CHILDREN AND I'M NOT MARRIED BECAUSE THE MARRIAGE IS ONLY A CONTRACT.........I HAVE A 40-YEAR OLD BOYFRIEND, WHOSE NAME IS MAURO, BUT I PREFER TO LIVE ALONE. I LIVE IN ROME, IN THE CENTER OF THE CITY, SO EVERY DAY I MEET A LOT OF FOREIGN PEOPLE!!! I LOVE AND I GO IN FOR CLASSICAL DANCE SINCE 1977, WHEN I WAS 3 YEARS OLD. I LOVE GO TO THE CINEMA AND THE THEATRE ESPECIALLY IN WINTERTIME. I LOVE CHEESE CAKE, BUT WE DON'T COOK IT IN ITALY!!
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