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Mancy王美娟
I am busy today. Today I do many things. I make the soap that use olive oil 72%. It spend a lot of time to go to "Trace". In the afternoon , I bake the cookies for my children. The time run very fast . In the dinner time , I cook three dishes and soup. My family very lovely . And I was very busy and happy although tried.

Bài chữa · 2

2

The words used in the text read as if you are currently doing something or will do something in the future; but, it looks like you are actually talking about something you have already done.  So, I am going to change the paragraph assuming you are talking about the recent past.

 

I was busy today.

Today I did many things. I made soap that uses 72% olive oil. It spent a lot of time to go to "Trace". In the afternoon, I baked cookies for my children.  The time ran very fast.  At the dinner time, I cooked three dishes and soup. My family is very lovely . I was very busy and happy; although tried.

 

The measure word for soap is typically "bar".  For example; I made a bar of soap that uses 72% olive oil.  Numbers and percentages are normally used before the value they represent.

"It spend a lot of time to go to "Trace"; I don't understand what you are talking about with this sentence.

"The time ran very fast." is correct; but would be more common to use "The time ran very quickly."

"In the dinner time"; this sentence would be written as "At the dinner hour"; but, most people would normally say; "At dinner time" or "For dinner".  You will not normally be "inside" a time value; but, there are exceptions; for example, "I made it just in time".

Written English typically does not start a sentence using "And"; however, it is common to start a sentence using "And" in spoken English.

"I was very busy and happy; although tried."  This sentence is a bit ambigious because I don't know if you were tired all day or you are tired because you were so busy.  You may want to change the text as follows; "I was very busy and happy; although, now I am very tried."

With regard to punctuation; a space character is not used before a comma or period character.

 

Very good.

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