Bài chữa · 3
Is there a real Human Rights change?
Nowadays lifestyles are faster and more aggressive than before. In the 70's women were usually housewives where they would look after and clean the house and have dinner ready when their husbands arrived. However as women have taken on more business roles around the world alongside men, is there equality between genders?
People were asked about this topic and they said that that status of equality for women depends upon where they live, because cultural practices influence the manner in which a country thinks. For example it is possible to see differences between the status of Occidental and Oriental women. Almost all respondants said that women have had an incredible growth in rights, and at the same time have been eager to accept new obligations.
So in general, as women have demanded to have an important role in this globalized world, we shouldn't forget that everybody must have the same opportunities, irregadless of their gender, culture, nationality or skin color.
Thank you for you support ;)
Comments:
Not bad.
In general you got your point accross but be careful with subject pronouns.
The problem was that you refered to women (plural of woman) and people (plural form of one person) in your writing. You then proceed to use the pronoun 'they', however the way in which you used the term 'they' meant that in some cases it was not clear whether the term was refering to the women in general, or the the people who were the respondants to the survey you write about.
Also you used the word 'genre' when you should have used 'gender'.
Keep it up.
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