Your presentation is well-structured and conveys a positive and encouraging message. However, a few grammatical and stylistic issues can be refined to make your speech sound more natural.
Hi, my name is Ei. I'm a new student here. There aren't many people I know yet, but everyone has made me feel very welcome.
So, what's your dream? My dream is to become a doctor. I've always wanted to study abroad, especially in Australia or Singapore. That's why I enrolled in this course. Learning English is time-consuming, but it will undoubtedly benefit me in the future. Everyone has a dream, don't they? Achieving our dreams requires a great deal of effort. It's essential to set clear objectives for ourselves. We can realise our ambitions if we believe in ourselves and maintain high self-esteem. Remember, without confidence, it's hard to succeed in life.
In summary, to achieve our dreams, we must be patient. Hard work always pays off. Keep persevering, and soon you'll enjoy the rewards of your dedication. Thank you.
Here are the changes I made:
Corrected some grammar and made phrasing smoother.
Consistently used "our" instead of switching between "we" and "you."
Improved the flow of some sentences for clarity and emphasis.