You did say something interesting. You said, „English is my second life.“ I like that because I think it’s very telling. I’ve mentioned this here on Italki before, but I’ll do it again in case you missed it. My second language is German, and I started learning it when I was 19 (I’m 59 now). The instructor at the university had us buy books for the first year, so I went to the bookstore to buy them. One of the books had a title like „500 German Verbs“ or something, and when I opened the cover there was a quote from Winston Churchill (I could be wrong, but I don’t think so, it’s been 40 years after all). The quote was „To speak a foreign language is to be a different person.“ I liked that. And, it’s true. It’s almost what you said about a „second life.“ Knowing a second language allows you to step out of your shoes for a little while and almost be someone else, to connect with another group of people, another culture. It allows you an escape from might otherwise be a drab world for you, even if just for a little while. And, I think that’s a good thing, no matter what language you learn.