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Chris
A funny story (I would appreciate it if you can point out my mistakes or provide some expressions you natives will use.) Once upon a time, there was a saying which introduced a magic valley. As long as you jumped in it after yelled out what you wanted, and then the valley would be filled with the thing you desired. There were three young men, ambitious and brave enough. They spent many years looking for that magic valley, facing innumerable difficulties, but fortunately they did it. The first man was an enterpriser who dreamed of being the wealthiest person in the world. So he came to the edge of the valley, said ”money”, and jumped in it. In less than one second, the valley was full of bills. The second man was lascivious. He repeated the action the first man did, just replaced “money” by “beauty” and got what he wanted. The last man was not like the previous two. He had not decided what to ask for. So he came to the edge, began to think, but suddenly slipped accidentally and said “oh!shit”. This is a joke my friend told me. I don't know if it's created by him. I just retelled the joke in my word, in English. One more thing I am not sure : In English culture, if it's appropriate to make a joke by something like "shit".
21 พ.ย. 2019 เวลา 14:15
การแก้ไข · 3
A funny story

(I would appreciate it if you can point out my mistakes or provide some expressions you natives will use.)

Once upon a time, there was a <s>saying which introduced</s> story about a magic valley. As long as you jumped <s>in </s>into it after <s>yelled</s> yelling out what you wanted, <s>and then </s>the valley would be filled with the thing you desired.

There were three young men, ambitious and brave enough. They spent many years looking for that magic valley, facing innumerable difficulties, but fortunately they did it found it. The first man was an <s>enterpriser </s> entrepreneur who dreamed of being the wealthiest person in the world. So he came to the edge of the valley, said ”money”, and jumped in it. In less than one second, the valley was full of bills. The second man was lascivious. He repeated the action the first man did, just replaced “money” by “beauty” and got what he wanted. The last man was not like the previous two. He had not decided what to ask for. So he came to the edge, began to think, but suddenly slipped accidentally and said “oh!shit”.

This is a joke my friend told me. I don't know if it's created by him. I just <s>retelled</s> retold the joke in my own words, in English.

One more thing I am not sure about : In English culture, if it's appropriate to make a joke <s>by </s> using a word like something like "shit".
21 พฤศจิกายน 2019
First of all, that's pretty funny! I will leave the corrections (minor, for the most part) to others, but will say that to use "shit" in a joke is the kind of thing that is probably OK with friends but could be a problem in something like a professional setting or a church group. It's all about knowing your audience.
21 พฤศจิกายน 2019
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