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Elaine1110
My First Poem Nights . I felt like throwing myself into the whirlpool of nights. Screaming, yelling and crying meant nothing In a place without lights. My heart was still beating, Whilst my body was dried By the fears of mine. How shall I tell you I was terrified, When the bitterness of tears made me blind? Trying to get drunk when the nights fall, But what for? To let my humour flow, or free my sorrow? Then I chose to be sober, Even though with my weak hope flicker. I shall not drown in the dark, Until I find the eternal spark. This is my first time to write a poem. I know it doesn't look like anything, not a sonnet (of course), not a free verse. I don't know if it is a poem technically speaking. Anyway, it is my first time to wirte this so I know I still have to practice more. I hope you guys can help me correct it or give me more advice! Thanks! :-)

การแก้ไข · 10

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Beautiful ))))
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My First Poem

Nights
.

I felt like throwing myself into the whirlpools of night.

Screaming, yelling and crying meant nothing

In a place without lights.

My heart was still beating,

Whilst my body was dried

By these fears of mine.

How  could I tell you that I was terrified,

When the bitterness of tears made me blind?



Trying to get drunk when the nights fell,

But what for?

To let my humour flow,

Or  to free my sorrow?

Then I chose to be sober,

Even though with my weak hopes flickering.

I shall not drown in the dark,

For  I will  find the eternal spark.


This is my first time to write a poem. I know it doesn't look like anything, not a sonnet (of course), not a free verse. I don't know if it is a poem technically speaking. Anyway, it is my first time to wirte this so I know I still have to practice more. I hope you guys can help me correct it or give me more advice! Thanks! :-)

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I liked reading it . I remembered "stay close my heart , stay close" poem. I hope you will achieve your goals . Amen
0
parles français aussi:D? ou parles espanol?:D
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My First Poem

Nights
.

I felt like throwing myself into the whirlpool of nights.

Screaming, yelling and crying meant nothing

In a place without lights.

My heart was still beating,

Whilst my body was drained

By the fears of mine.

How shall I tell you I was terrified,

When the bitterness of tears made me blind?



Trying to get drunk when the nights fall,

But what for?

To let my humour flow,

or free me from sorrow?

Then I chose to be sober,

Even though_my weak hope flickered.

I shall not drown in the dark,

Until I find the eternal spark.


This is my first time to write a poem. I know it doesn't look like anything, not a sonnet (of course), not a free verse. I don't know if it is a poem technically speaking. Anyway, it is my first time to wirte this so I know I still have to practice more. I hope you guys can help me correct it or give me more advice! Thanks! :-)  ...I really don't know about literary techniques, but I think your poem is very good. It expresses feelings of sadness and despair, but it shows some hope at the end...I liked it a lot! Keep writing poems!! :D

 

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