Hello,hope this Correction may help you.

Three Days to See

This is the homework in my English class.
I know this composition has some mistakes on tense....So please give me some suggesstions~ :)
========================================
Three Days to See
I have been accustomed to live in this world in a quite normal way,as a quite average man.Life means nothing special to me,and seldom have I got flushed or even furious.However,one diagnosis broke my routine.
It came out all of a sudden.I just walked out of the hospital with my eyes blanked;the doctor told me that I would lose my eyesight in 3 days!"I'm sorry,but there's nothing I could do to help",the old man said sincerelly.Shock,fear and doubt have filled up my mind.I couldn't help sinking into agonized thought:What should I do?
The first day I wake up in the morning lying in bed studying one sophisticated pattern on the ceiling.It suddenly occurs to me that I was gifted for my eyesight which I did not cherish.Tremendous TV shows,pointless computer surfings and other unnecessary things have taken up too much space in my life.There's a whisper inside me: "I was wrong,I was totally wrong".Then I am overwhelmed by guilty and sorrow.One desire bursts out all of a sudden:Fly home and gaze at my parents' faces.I'll tell them straightforward how badly I miss them.And I'll count every wrinkle on their faces,which demonstrates my deepest love for them.I'll memorize their twinkling eyes which is enough for me to liver over for my whole life.
As the second day succeeds,I'll hang out admiring every subtle beauty.Sniffing at lovely flowers,I'll sit down and study the delicate petal.I'd like to see young girls' glossy shinning hair,their colorful skirts,and their sweetest smiles.I'll bear this in mind so as to impress myself with the vigor.
=========================================================
It's so late....I'll complete it next time...

Three Days to See

This is the homework inof my English class.
I know this composition has some mistakes on tense....So please give me some suggesstions~ :)
========================================
Three Days to See
I haved ben accustomed to live in this world in a quite normal way,as a quite average ordinary man.Life means nothing special to me,and seldom have I gotten flushed or even furious.However,one diagnosis broke my routine.
It came out all of sudden. I just walked out of the hospital with my eyes blanked;the doctor told me that I would lose my eyesight infor 3 days!"I'm sorry,but there's nothing I couldcan help",the old man said sincerelly.Shock,fear and doubt have filled up my mind.I could't help sinking into an agonized thought:What should I do?
On The first day I wake up in the morning lying on in bed, studying one a sophiscated pattern on the ceiling.It suddenly occursed that I was gifted for my eyesight which I did not cherish(表达的不清楚……有点看不懂到底是突然没了视力还是突然珍惜视力了).Tremendous TV shows,pointless computer surfings and other unnecessary things havehad taken up too much space in my life.There'swas a whisper inside.I was wrong,.I was totally wrong.Then I amwas overwhelmed by guilty and sorrow.One desire burstsed out all of sudden:Flying (back) home and gazeing at my parents' faces.I'llwould tell them straightforwardly how badly I missed them.And I'llwould count every wrinkle on their faces,which demonstratesed(就算是现在时也不能加s因为代指wrinkles) the deepest love.I'llwould memorize their twinkling eyes which iswere enough for me to liver over for my whole life. (什么意思？)
As the second day succeeds(?),I'llwould hang out admiring every subtle beauty.Sniffing at lovely flowers,I'll sit down and study the delicate petal(这句话这么说的话表明你是一边闻着一边坐下来一边看……).I'd like to see young girls' glossy shinning hair,their colorful skirt,and their sweetest smilings.I'llwould bear this scene in mind so as to impress myself with the vigor.
=========================================================
It's so late....I'll complete it next time...

嗯，我英文现在也不是说到了找tutor可以没有语法错误的程度所以你完成之后再去英语部分找母语人士改一下比较好，不过我还是说一下吧。时态后半部分很混乱，前半都是过去后半都是将来？至少也要用个过去将来时，有点不明白到底你是写得假设的故事还是真实的故事。如果是想要描写为过去的事情，也不要用过去将来（like: She said that she would help you.）直接用一般过去……还有亲你所有标点符号后面都没有空格，注意是要空格的。还有一点其实你听不听都行，我觉得你用了很多结构比较复杂的句子的确挺好的，但是语言是为了表达才被发明出来的，如果你不确定这句话这么说对不对就还是用简单句吧……我现在就是写得越来越多句子也没有越来越复杂的说，全篇好多句子都是lying on my bed 之类的但是看得很累表达不清楚（嘛，也有我阅读能力相当差的缘故吧:P这个不听也无所谓）

总而言之……如果是过去就把所有句子改成一般过去时或者过去完成时比较好:P