Hello. This text is very well written. It follows a clear academic structure and is easy to understand. So, rather than try to identify 'mistakes' I will try to redraft the text to appear a little more academic. In many cases, there will be more than one way to say something. This would be my approach:
The best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries.
Nowadays, education is a major social concern. Education may be considered more important than ever. Some parents believe that by increasing teachers' salaries their children may be better educated. I disagree with this idea. The impact of teachers on education has been decreasing and schools should spend their money on improving students' learning environment instead.
To begin with, learning methods have changed. Now, students use a variety of devices in class, such as televisions, computers, projecters and so on. While teachers may teach students how to use these facilities in order to get information that they need, students could learn by themselves by using these facilities to retrieve information at home. For example, students can get up-to-dated information from the internet in accordance with their interests. while some teachers do not know how to used it in a proper way. (Sorry, im not sure of your meaning here. Do you mean that teachers may be unable to use technology well enough to assist students?) Additionally, it is hard to say that teachers are students' only source of information. For example, students can learn from sources such as their friends and parents, not just teachers. This is because students may spend more time with their friends and parents
If people really want to improve the quality of education they should take the learning environment into their consideration. It can influence students' learning considerably. In order to offer students more opportunities to access a wide range of information, every school should establish a media center in which students can access technology independently. Schools should also offer extra-curricular activities for students as many important attributes, other than knowledge, are required to live in a society. These attributes may include leadership, patience and teamwork. By attending extra-curricular activities offered in school, students can experience a small version of our society and learn how work well with other people.
To sum up, there are many effective ways to improve the quality of education. Rather than increasing teachers' salaries, schools can provide state-of-the-art facilities so that students can acquire update-to-date knowledge as fast as possible. Moreover, participation in activities with their peers may help students further develop their social skills.