Hello.

Hi. My name is luis angel... Im from cancun mexico, i have 21 year old.. I need learn more english ,

A corrected version of this would read:

Hello. My Name is Luis Angel. Im from Cancun Mexico. I am 21 years old. I need TO learn more English.

You have to remember to use periods to end sentences and to make the first letter of every new sentence uppercase. Other than that, it was pretty good. Hope this helps.

Hello.

My name is Luis Angel. I am from Cancun Mexico and i am 21 years old. I need learn more english.

se necesita escribir en mayúsculas los nombres y hacer ensayos pequeños. 

Escribe algo sobre tu país.

Hello.

My name is Luis Angel.  I am from Cancun Mexico. I am 21 years old. I would like to learn fluent english.