การแก้ไข · 2
I got soaked
On my way home from the station, I was hit by unexpected rain. I wanted to keep my bag from getting wet, so I rushed to my house while holding it in front of my chest. As I didn't bring an umbrella with me, I used my jacket in place of an umbrella, but it didn't work. The jacket absorbed more water than I thought it would. A single jacket wasn't much of a help when it was raining that heavily. My bag was a bit wet, but good thing that my wallet and mobile were safe. Though, I was soaked that I got cold. It's June and becoming a rainy season where I live. I hate rain, so it just makes me feel down. That's mainly because my hair becomes frizzy when it's humid. I'm really waiting for you, Mr summer.
I talked about mentioned that my nose was itchy and I was sneezing all the time a little while ago. That finally has gone. It lasted much longer than I expected, but I'm refreshed now, haha
I got soaked
On my way home from the station, I was hit by unexpected rain. I wanted to keep my bag from getting wet, so I rushed to my house while holding it in front of my chest. As Since I didn't bring an umbrella with me, I tried to used my jacket in place of an umbrella, but it didn't work. The jacket absorbed more water than I thought it would. A single jacket wasn't much of help when it was raining that heavily. My bag got was a bit wet, but luckily good thing that my wallet and mobile were safe. Though, I was soaked that I got cold. I got soaked to the bone though. [?] It's June and becoming a the rainy season is starting where I live. I hate rain, so it just gets makes me down. That's mainly because my hair becomes fizzy when it's humid. I'm really waiting for you, Mr. sSummer.
I talked about how that my nose was itchy and I was sneezing all the time a little while ago. That finally has gone passed. It lasted much longer than I expected, but I'm feeling better refreshed now, haha
Notes:
A lot of this was stylistic/making it flow more naturally vs grammar in particular.
- "As" tends to be more formal; "since/because" tends to be more casual.
- You can use either "luckily my phone and wallet" or "it was a good thing that my phone and wallet", but luckily sounds a bit more natural. You'd use "luckily" for chance/luck things, and "it was a good thing that" for stuff you've prepared for. Ex: "it was a good thing I'd put my phone and wallet in a plastic bag to protect them".
- "soaked to the bone" is a common expression; it also implies that you're freezing cold because of it (coldness gets into your very bones) vs using "cold" which could mean either that you became cold (temperature) or you caught a cold "disease"
- Mr. Summer... for whatever reason we capitalize objects when we personify them; (ex: Mr. Chair, Mr. Bunny, etc); I guess because we're mentally making them into people? I've never actually thought about this before
- I usually see "refreshed" used as a tiredness thing; ex: "I took a nap/vacation and was refreshed." For illness, we usually just use "felt better".
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