Does this sound okay or should I change anything? Thanks in advance!
(Additional info: there's a Russian shooting range, and I need to translate some parts of their website into English.)
Come visit our range and spend your time with us - you'll experience lots of positive emotions.
Range specials:
1. 10% off range fees on your birthday.
For your birthday our range offers a 10% discount on all services (except for workshop services).
2. We've created the best conditions for you to benefit from these wonderful holidays. Visit our range to make good use of your leisure time!
ค้นหาจากครู ภาษาอังกฤษ หลากหลายคน...
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1
Does this sound okay or should I change anything? Thanks in advance!
(Additional info: there's a Russian shooting range, and I need to translate some parts of their website into English.)Come visit our firing range and spend your time with us - you'll experience lots of positive emotions.*
Range special offers:
1. 10% off range fees on your birthday.
For your birthday our range offers a 10% discount on all our services (except for workshop services).
2. We've created the best conditions for you to benefit from these wonderful holidays. Visit our range to make good use of your leisure time!
*or, you'll have a thrilling/wonderful/amazing time. Or, learn to become a sharp-shooter!
1
Does this sound okay or should I change anything? Thanks in advance!
(Additional info: there's a Russian shooting range, and I need to translate some parts of their website into English.)Come visit our range and spend your time with us - you'll experience lots of positive emotions.
This is grammatically correct but it sounds a little unnatural. Here are some suggestions:
- Come spend a fun-filled day at our range!
- Come visit our range for a day filled with fun and adventure!
- Come visit our range and have a banging good time! *
(You can use a period "." instead of an exclamation mark "!" but I think a period makes the sentence sound flat whereas an exclamation mark brings the sentence to life!)
* this is a little pun hahaha. "a banging good time" means "a good/an exciting time" and "bang" is generally the sound a gun makes, so... hahaha :p But if the website is more professional and if you think the target audience might not appreciate the pun, don't use it haha!
Range specials:
Special offer(s):
1. 10% off range fees on your birthday.
For On your birthday, our range offers a 10% discount on all services (except for workshop services).
2. (This is not really a special offer. It is more suited for the "about us" page if you have one. If not, you can just leave it at the end of this page) We've created the best conditions for you to benefit from these wonderful holidays. Visit our range to make good use of your leisure time!
This is also grammatically correct but sounds unnatural. Suggestion:
Here at (name of the range), we strive hard to ensure our customers enjoy their stay no matter the occasion. So come on down; a world of adventure awaits!
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Если Вы имеете в виду мастера-оружейника под «workshop services», Вы могли бы сказать «(except for gunsmith services).»
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