PUNISHMENT NEEDED IN TEACHING？
I'm preparing my Ielts test, and the point of my writing session is low. Could you help me correct the article, and tell me what to improve?
IS PUNISHMENT NEEDED IN TEACHING ?
A Chind’s education always include teaching the difference between right and wrong.Taking about the teaching method, I do think punishment can help Children learn good behavior, but it is not the best way.
Through punishment, Children are likely to understand the severe consequences when they did the wrong thing. They can learn doing wrong things can not only have an ban effect on other people, but also on their own lives. For example, students who treat on the exam should be punished that they will not be allowed to attend the next exam. In that way , they may leran to be honest and not dare to do it again.
As to the method of punishment, it should not be too harsh, because the aim of punishment is to help children learn the differences between right and wrong, not to leave a nightmare in their memories. In that case, parents and teachers can work out some soft ways. For instance, Children who are used to throw rubbishes can be asked to watch the road cleaner collecting wastes. In that way, they may feel guilty or a sense of shame, which will make them not doing that again.
I hold the view that punishment is the last consideration when teachers teach children good behavior. Teachers and parents can set children good role modelling and encourage children to do right things. If punishments are needed when teaching, they should be conducted in a love-oriented way, not a cruel way like the body punishment we used to do.
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1
I'm preparing my Ielts test, and I got a low score for my written component . Could you please help me by correcting this article, and tell me what I can improve on?
IS PUNISHMENT NEEDED IN TEACHING ?
A child’s education always includes teaching him/her the difference between right and wrong. With regards to the teaching method, I do think punishments can help children learn good behavior, but it is not the best way.
Through punishment, children are likely to understand the severe consequences when they did the do something wrong thing. They can may learn that doing wrong bad things may not only have a negative effect on other people, but also on their own lives. For example, students who cheat on the an exam should be punished by being prohibited from attending the next exam. In this way , they may learn to be honest and not dare to do it again.
As to the method of punishment, it should not be too harsh, because the aim of punishment is to help children learn the difference between right and wrong, not to leave a nightmare (scar) in their memories. To this effect, parents and teachers should come up with can work out some softer methods ways. For instance, children who are used to throwing rubbish on the ground can be asked to watch the road cleaner collect waste. In this way, they may feel guilty or feel a sense of shame, which will make them not want to doing that it again.
I hold the view that punishments should be used as is the last resort for teachers in order to teach children good behavior. Teachers and parents can set children act as good role models and encourage children to do the right thing. If punishments are needed when teaching, they should be conducted in a love-oriented way, not a cruel way like the physical punishments we used to do.
0
PUNISHMENT NEEDED IN TEACHING？
I'm preparing my Ielts test, and the point of my writing session is low. Could you help me correct the article, and tell me what to improve?IS PUNISHMENT NEEDED IN TEACHING ?
A Child’s education always includes teaching the difference between right and wrong. Talking about the teaching method, I do think punishment can help children learn good behavior, but it is not the best way.
Through punishment, children are likely to understand the severe consequences when they do the wrong thing. They can learn that doing wrong things can not only have an bad effect on other people, but also on their own lives. For example, students who cheat in the exam should be barred from the next exam. In that way , they may learn to be honest and not dare do it again.
As to the method of punishment, it should not be too harsh, because the aim of punishment is to help children learn the difference between right and wrong, not to leave them with a nightmare. In that case, parents and teachers can work out some soft ways. For instance, Children who are used to throwing rubbish in the road can be asked to watch the road cleaner collecting it. In that way, they may feel guilty or a sense of shame, which will make them not do that again.
I hold the view that punishment should be the last consideration when teachers teach children good behavior. Teachers and parents can set children good role models and encourage children to do right. If punishments are needed when teaching, they should be conducted out of love and not in a cruel way like the corporal punishment we used to do.
Very well written!
0
I think you have a great understanding on how to construct an essay, particularly in task 2. On the other hand, there are some lapses and inconsistencies along the way. For example using the words two times in a row, that will be redundant, try to use other synonyms. Also, Try to make it simple(easy to understand), don't show off with variety of complex sentences. Well, that's just me. My own opinion. Ciao.
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