"Explain why it is important for you to learn English."
It is very difficult to answer the question "Why it is important for you to learn English?". That is because the reason to learn English has been changing while I study English.
At the first time I begun to study English, I thought I need to learn new skills to survive. At that time, I had been sick and took away from my school for a while to treat my depression. I was facing to depressive crisis in my life literally. So I decided to study new language to change my world. Actually first language I tried was Korean, because my ancesters are Korean. However unfortunately that trial was terrible idea. Korean language is too complex to pronounce for me. Then I changed my mind; I begun to study English that I had been studing in a highschool class.
Now I keep on studying English enjoining regularly. I found learning other language changes area which I can visit. For example, I traveled San Diego and Hawaii by myself in spring break. I was not afraid of riding a bus, ordering meals in a restaurant and checking in a hotel. That is because I can speak English. Moreover this experience gave me confidence. I feel I am not a sad powerless girl. I can do anything that I want if I do it.
The biggest importance to learn English may be a mental one for me. Being able to speak English break a cage surrounding around me. It give me freedom not only physically but also mentally. I could survive in a whole new culture, situation and hardship. Also I can be myself who is a hopeful and powerful woman.
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การแก้ไข · 13
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"Explain why it is important for you to learn English."
It is very difficult to answer the question "Why it is important for you to learn English?". It's because my reason to learn English has been changing while I study English.When I began to study English, I thought I need to learn a new skill to survive. At that time, I was sick and took time away from my school for a while to treat my depression. I was facing to a depressive crisis in my life, literally. So I decided to study learn a new language to change my world. Actually, the first language I tried to learn was Korean, because my ancestors are Korean. However, unfortunately, that trial was a terrible idea. The Korean language is too complex to pronounce for me. Then I changed my mind; I began to study the English that I had been studying in a high school class.
Now I keep on studying English and enjoying it regularly. I found learning other another language changes the areas which I can visit. For example, I traveled to San Diego and Hawaii by myself in spring break. I was not afraid of riding a bus, ordering meals in a restaurant and checking into a hotel. That is because I can speak English. Moreover, this experience gave me confidence. I no longer feel like a sad powerless girl. I can do anything that I want to do if I try.
The biggest importance of learning English may be a mental one for me. Being able to speak English breaks a the cage surrounding around me. It gives me the freedom not only physically but also mentally. I could survive in a whole new culture, situation and hardship. Also, I can be myself who is a hopeful and powerful woman.
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"Explain why it is important for you to learn English."
It is very difficult to answer the question "Why it is important for you to learn English?".* That is because the reason to for learning English has been changing while as I study English.At the first time I began to study English, I thought I needed to learn new skills to survive. At that time, I had been sick and took taken away from my school for a while to treat my depression. I was facing to depressive crisis in my life literally.** So I decided to study new language to change my world. Actually the first language I tried was Korean, because my ancestors are Korean. However unfortunately that trial was terrible idea. Korean language is too complex to pronounce for me. Then I changed my mind; I began to study English that I had been studying in a high school class.
Now I keep on studying English, and find myself enjoying it. enjoining regularly.*** I found learning other languages changes area which places I can visit. For example, I traveled San Diego and Hawaii by myself in spring break. I was not afraid of riding a bus, ordering meals in a restaurant and checking in at a hotel. That is because I can speak English. Moreover this experience has given gave me confidence. I feel I am not a sad powerless girl. I can do anything that I want if I do it.****
The biggest importance***** to learning English may be a mental one for me. Being able to speak English break broke a cage that had been surrounding around me. It give me freedom not only physically but also mentally. I could survive in a whole new culture, situation and hardship challenges******. Also I can be myself: who is a hopeful and powerful woman.
* Punctuation note: British and US rules are different. I don't know about British rules, but in the US, you don't need a period after the quote).
** This sentence is very complicated. It's also a very important sentence for explaining what was happening in your life at the time. You wrote "to depressive crisis" . . . did you mean to write "too depressive a crisis" or "so depressive a crisis"? Perhaps a better sentence would be "I was literally facing a depressive crisis in my life."
*** I didn't understand "enjoining regularly." I assume you meant "enjoying" so I rewrote the end of the sentence with that meaning.
**** This paragraph was exceptionally well-written. I made a few stylistic changes, but your writing was very clear.
***** "The biggest importance" - this is okay. A more natural way to start the sentence would be "The most important reason for learning . . ."
****** Instead of "hardships" I think "challenges" fits your positive message better. Hardships are bad things that oppress you. Challenges are problems that you can overcome.
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そうなんだよ！時々私の説明は過ぎくどいです。(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧
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5000 characters are few(T^T)
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Great writing! 頑張って！The problem that Brittany had (I had the same problem) is that italki only allows 5000 characters in a correction. That 5000 characters (which includes the original Notebook text).
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