[ A Serbian friend of mine came to Kyoto76 ]
Would you mind correcting my essay? If you were me, how would
you go about writing it?
Which part should I describe with details? I hope my explanations are clear. I hope you can understand.
(Part-Two)
We decided on the meeting day. He came to Kyoto from Tokyo by a Japanese bur-train. He has a JR free pass and could go almost everywhere using that pass.
He didn't have a Wi-Fi router during in Japan. He worried about that difficult to contact each other smoothly.
He told me that he didn't might show up on the time, please wait for a while. So, I would have wait as much as I could.
Before we met at the in front of Kyoto Station, I took and sent their photos for him. He showed up after ten minutes on that time. Then, we had a greeting and talked for a while.
After that, we went Kiyomizu temple which is one of the world heritage. He told me that Japan was hot and humid.
We were pretty hungry. We stepped by a convenience store and had some light meals. The store had a eat-in space. I had a set of rice ball and he had a lunch box which looked like fried chicken lunch box in the eat-in space.
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[ A Serbian friend of mine came to Kyoto 76 ]
We decided on the meeting day. He came to Kyoto from Tokyo by a Japanese bur-train (I am not sure if I understand the meaning of "bur-train". Were you referring to a bullet train?). He has a JR free pass and could go almost everywhere using that pass.He didn't have a Wi-Fi router during his stay in Japan. He was worried about that it would be difficult to contact each other smoothly.
He told me requested for me to wait for a while if he (1) didn't might show up on the time. , please wait for a while. So, I would have to wait for as long as it takes. as much as I could.
Before we met at the in front of Kyoto Station, I took (pictures of the place and (2) sent the their photos to for him. He showed up after ten minutes after our arranged time. on that time. Then, we greeted each other had a greeting and talked for a while.
After that, we went to Kiyomizu temple which is one of the world heritage sites. He told me that Japan was hot and humid.
We were pretty hungry. We (3) stopped stepped by a convenience store and had some light meals. The store had a dining eat-in space. I had a set of rice balls and he had a lunch box which looked like a fried chicken lunch box. in the eat-in space.
Hi Hiro,
Here are some suggestions for you:
(1) There is potential confusion when you use "didn't might". The first word defines an impossibility (did not) while the second word means that a hypothetical possibility.
(Examples: He did not commit a crime -- he was proven not guilty. / If it had not rained yesterday, we might have gone to the beach -- hypothetical possibility.
(2) There is a difference between "send to" and "send for". The former means to deliver something to a place in mind; the latter means to deliver something on behalf of someone. (Examples: I need to send the lab reports TO the hospital by today. / The florist needs to send these flowers FOR a customer.)
(3) "stopped by" means to visit a place casually without prior reservation or notice. "stepped by" could simply mean to walk past.
Hope these help.
Lance
0
[ A Serbian friend of mine came to Kyoto76 ]
Would you mind correcting my essay? If you were me, how wouldyou go about writing it?
Which part should I describe with details? I hope my explanations are clear. I hope you can understand.
(Part-Two)
We decided on the meeting day. He came to Kyoto from Tokyo by a by/via Japanese burbullet-train. He has a JR free pass and could go almost everywhere using that pass.
He didn't have a Wi-Fi router during his stay in Japan. He worried about that the difficulties to contacting each other smoothly.
He told me that he didn't might not show up on the time, and to please wait for a while. So, I would have waited as much as I could.
Before we met at the in front of Kyoto Station, I took and sent their(?) photos for him. He showed up after ten minutes on that time. Then, we had a greeting and talked for a while.
After that, we went to Kiyomizu temple which is one of the world heritage. He told me that Japan was hot and humid.
We were pretty hungry. We stopped by a convenience store and had a light meal. some light meals. The store had a eat-in sit-down area space. I had a set of rice balls and he had a lunch box which looked like a fried chicken lunch box in the eat-in space.
Feedback!
1. You can use either by or via in this sentence, but via is more specific than by. Example Sentence: "they came to Europe via Turkey" definition: traveling through (a place) en route to a destination.
2. I made small adjustments to make the sentence sound more natural.
3.Same as above
4. The phrase "on that time" should be omitted unless you are stating that your friend "arrived on time".
5.
A. Although "had some light meals" is correct, "had a light meal" sounds more natural because it implies that you and your friend ate together, even though you had two different meals. (Sometimes English doesn't make sense!) ヽ（´∀｀）ノ
B. You would be understood if you say "eat-in space", but sit-down area is the most common way to describe this.
Overall, great job! Only minor adjustments are needed! I hope this helps!
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