Help correct my short story translation
Hello everyone!
I'm a new iTalki user learning Chinese. I have translated a children's short story from a book "365 Bed Time Stories", but would like some feedback on my translations. I don't think my translation skills are very good yet!
The original story can be seen here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/8kj4ri91rs7h7gi/Story.jpg?dl=1
My translation is as follows;
Title: New Year Baby
Original Work by Bāo Lěi
Pictures by Zhāng Chē
1: Obviously, it is very good to be gazing out the window
2: New Year Baby riding the red carp has come
3: Happy New Year!
4: Carp spits out of his mouth a New Year's Present
5: New Year Baby has flown away
6: Obviously, it is very good to fly out the window
7: They are riding a white cloud to chase after New Year Baby
8: They are at the white cloud and have fallen asleep
9: They woke up to find they were in bed
10: They under their pillow then discovered a wrapped present
11: It turns out, the present was the first part of "365 Bed Time Stories"Hi everyone! I'm so sorry - I didn't realise that link wouldn't work for friends in China. I couldn't see how to add a picture directly to my post. Please try this link instead: http://clsnoswell.com/6d298949-12d5-435d-a41f-00e3024b1eeb/Story.jpg Thank you!
ค้นหาจากครู ภาษาอังกฤษ หลากหลายคน...
คำตอบ · 11
2
＊"明明"&"佳佳"are both people's names.
1: Obviously, it is very good to be gazing out the window
→"Mingming and Jiajia are gazing out the window."
6: Obviously, it is very good to fly out the window
→ "Mingming and Jiajia fly out the window,too."
＊(1)"他们在枕头下发现"means "they discovered something which is under their pillow"instead"they under their pillow".
(2)"包"is a quantifier of the present.
10: They under their pillow then discovered a wrapped present
→They discovered the present under their pillow.
(I use "the present" because this present is the one be gaved by New Year Baby)
＊"部"is a quantifier of the book.
11: It turns out, the present was the "365 Bed Time Stories"
1
※ Pictures by Zhāng Jūn(you mixed 车(chē) with 军(Jūn)).
※ "明明" and "佳佳" are the two children's names, named "Mingming" and "Jiajia" respectively.
※ Pay attention to the verb's tense. Once, "They are riding a white cloud to chase after New Year Baby", and then, "They woke up to find they were in bed".
※ “(一)包” and "一部" are both quantifier which modify the nouns behind them, "礼物" and “365夜故事” respectively. “一包” means "a pack of things"; “一部” here means "a book named something" or "a book of the ...."
10. They discovered that pack of present under their pillow.
11. It turned out that the present was a book of the "365 Bed Time Stories".
0
The link works now.
0
Hello! I have added another link - please try that one and let me know if it works.
0
In fact, you can also post the picture under the text.
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