Which is the most typical Chinglish (Chinese dialect of English) you ever heard

This is a serious topic, don't laugh at people making such mistakes. They need help.

Which is the most typical Chinglish (Chinese dialect of English)  you ever heard or saw in italki? especially on the grammatical problem or the pronunciation (or related to culture). Show other asian dialects of English such as Japanese or Koren English if it is helpful.

For example, "I only can speak a little English" or "My English is poor" that means "I am not good at English".

which is the most typical (or laughable) Chinglish you ever heard

Which is the most typical Chinglish (Chinese dialect of English)  you ever heard? especially on the grammatical problem or the pronunciation (or related to culture). Show the other asian dialect of English such as Japaglish if it is really comical.

For example, "I only can speak a little English" or "My English is pure" that means "I am not good at English". And the Japanese always say "Good morning" as 'guda monin-ga''.

what is your opinion about the divorce event of the famous actor Wang Baoqiang

I am not sure whether there was someone talking about it or focusing on it at least in the forum. I just want to know how people in the world treat your spouse who having an affair with your friend.

Do you support Wang or his ex-wife in the event?

What is your mobile phone ringtone?

What is your mobile phone ringtone? Do you set your favourite song as your ringtone?

mine is the theme song of a japanese cartoon <From Up on Poppy Hill>.  Sometimes I would select other ringtones.

an uninteresting but common topic

Several days ago, in a bus, I heard two teachers (I am sure they are not lierary professors) from my college talking with each other. I could not remember all of what they said exactly. They talked about the difference between Chinese and other forigner languages, esp. English, not so seriously. One said that Chinese were more complicated or more colorful than English at least in the sense of describing how beautiful a woman was. He thought in English (or in English literatures) there was only one adjactive "beautiful" could be used to describe a beauty, while in Chinese, there were many many many words to describe a veraty of beauty (in different situations) such as “婀娜多姿”(pretty)“倾国倾城”(most beautiful in a city)“沉鱼落雁、闭月羞花”(so beautiful that makes the fishes and birds, moon and flowers shamed)... They also thought that if a Chinese literary work was translated to English, then these words would be replaced by one English word. They could not believe that why Chinese could not get the Nobel Prize of literature, they conculded that this is the western standard. Then they just laughed loudly.

It may be a sensitive topic.

It may be a sensitive topic.

In China, we are not allowed to access some websites. It is OK to prevent people to access some porn or illegal websites. However, some famous websites such as facebook, google and youtube are not admitted by Chinese government. It is really unconvenient for students who ever searched for acadamic resources with google, then some of them have to use gfsoso (renamed as jwsoso), however, in this summer holiday, it stopped working. There are also many teaching vedios in Youtube. You may have to visit the websites through proxy or VPN. I ever used "freegate" to open the blocked webpages, but it did not work stably. Most of us can not understand the dicision of the government. But the officers have anounced that the internet must obey the low of the country. I was told that the restricted websites maight threaten the republic, but I am not sure that there is another reason.

Write a letter to a foreigner professor for his paper Following is the body of the letter. Could you check it or make it better? Dear Professor X: I am sorry to trouble you. I am a postgraduate studying the PDEs. I was told that you are very prominent in the field of PDEs and I admire you very much. Now I want to read your paper (1990) "blah blah blah" that has been cited by many researchers. Unfortunately I only find the first page on the web. Could you send it to me, if you can find it? Kind Regards Your sincerely William

I think it is easy to learn Chinese

I think that Chinese is (one of) the most easy language(s). Not because I am Chinese. I have
much evidence or experience. Now I just show it partly, comparing with English (grammar).

Fisrt of all, there is no tense (no -ing, no -ed, no -en, no to do...) in Chinese, no plural
form (no -s for nouns), no articles. You need not append -s to a verb that follows she/he/it
(ta).

In Chinese, we say "yi/er/san (ge) ren" means "one/to/three person" literally, never say
"er/san (ge) ren-men". (ren-men is the plural form of ren) If you say "three person", then all
of us understant that it means "three persons", the suffix -s never gives us more information.
In Chinese, we say "wo zhengzai kanshu" means "I now read book" literally, instead of "I am
reading book now". We say "zuotian/mingtian, wo kanshu" means "Yesterday/Tomorrow, I read book"
literally, instead of "Yesterday/Tomorrow I read(past form) book/ will read book". You see, the
verb "kanshu" never changes.

Chinese use "wo/ni/ta1(he)/ta2(she)/ta3(it)" with "men" to make any kind of personal pronouns,
While you don't know the gender of "they" and the singular-plural form of "you". With "de" we
construct all possessive pronouns, so need not create "your(nide/nemende), my(wode), our
(womende), her(ta2de), his(ta1de), their(ta123mende)". And "shui(who)+de" means "whose".
Moreover, we just employ "wo ni ta (men)" for objcetive cases of the personal pronouns, instead
of, you know. Yes, Chinese likes algebra. (Oh what is the article of "algebra"?) Chinese is
"1+2=3", while English is like "1 +s 2s =s 3s".

Finally, we seldom use clauses that make sentences so long.

Here I just talk about the grammar, and I am not a linguist, so the opinion is not
professional. I believe that you will also find that I am right on other aspects of languages.