Past 6 months have been so tough for me. I'm a digital artist and I've always been passionate about making arts and I've always tried to make money out of it just to buy better equipment and become better and better. I've always blamed my cheap equipment, my classes, my job and not having spare time; for dragging me down and not letting me become a professional. So since last year I spent all of my money on my gears and I upgraded them all and I got my bachelor degree this spring and I was a professional artist with professional gears and 3 months of spare time at the first day of this summer. But in a blink of an eye two and a half months passed without me doing anything. You don't know how much I'm mad at myself. I'm started doubting myself. I feel like a loser every day. Feeling like I've wasted all my time and money on nothing. I even blamed my friends for not encouraging me. But deep down I know that these are all excuses and there's still something missing. I'm not passionate anymore. I wish I was that 18 years old boy who was enthusiast and had so much courage to just open photoshop and make something beautiful out of nothing. Now I'm in a deep doubt. Should I try more, and push myself to do something that I don't feel like doing it at the moment? Shout I just let it go and move on and experience new things? Will I be successful if I do? This is what I used to do since I was a 15 and this is the only thing I've ever been good at and I'm losing my interest in it.

But in a blink of an eye two and a half months passed without me doing anything. You don't know how much I'm mad at myself. I've started doubting myself. I feel like a loser every day. Feeling like I've wasted all my time and money on nothing. I even blamed my friends for not encouraging me. But deep down I know that these are all excuses and there's still something missing. I'm not passionate anymore. I wish I was that 18 years old boy who was enthusiast and had so much courage to just open photoshop and make something beautiful out of nothing.

Now I'm in a deep doubt. Should I try more, and push myself to do something that I don't feel like doing it at the moment? Will this passion ever come back? Shout I just let it go and move on and experience new things? Will I be successful if I do? This is what I used to do since I was a 15 and this is the only thing I've ever been good at and I'm losing my interest in it.

Have you ever been in the similar situation? What do you think I should do?