2021.3.14 La procrastination Il fait beau aujourd’hui. J’aimerais sortir et me balader dans le quartier pour profiter un peu, mais j’ai la flemme. Maintenant, il est à peu près le midi. Je n’ai pas envie de même me lever et me faire le déjeuner. Et le petit-déjeuner? Tu plaisantes? Personne ne bouffe le petit-déjeuner en weekends. Et là, en ce moment, j’ai faim et j’ai la flemme. En fait, je sais que, aujourd’hui, il me faudrait me concentrer sur le projet académique qui est dû demain. Pourtant, je ne veut pas le faire. C’est la procrastination, un vrai cauchemar pour moi . Ce qui m’ennuie beaucoup est que c’est une habitude très terrible que je veut me débarrasser, mais que j’ai échoué plusieurs fois. Il y a plein de raisons de la procrastination, mais pour moi, c’est toujours poursuivre la perfection. Parfois, c’est quelque chose d’agréable quand il nous rend motivé vers nos travail. Mais autrefois, il nous empêche quand même de commencer nos projet, surtout cels en difficultés, car on a crainte de ne pas les exécuter sans faire des erreurs. Alors, après tout ça, qu’est-ce que je dois faire maintenant? C’est trop difficile de prendre des decisions. Bah, je vais dormir une heure de plus.

2021.3.13 Aujourd’hui, j’ai eu un rendez vous en ligne avec ma partenaire linguistique. C’est la deuxième semaine que l’on pratique ensemble pour s’améliorer. Je pense qu’il est essentiel de parler français chaque jours pour le parler couramment le plus tôt possible. En terme de parler, il faut employer une façon plutôt différente de celui dont on se servit pour les autres côtés tels que la lecture, l’écriture, l’écoute. Certains personnes pensent qu’il faudrait tellement de vocabulaires pour parler avec confiance, parce qu’ils ont peur de ne pas se faire comprendre. Je ne suis pas d’accord avec ce genre de mentalité. Selon moi, l’important, c’est d’avoir envie d’utiliser les langues de communiquer avec les autres et découvrir des nouvelles cultures. C’est à travers d’utiliser les langues que l’on les apprend. C’es comme la natation. On peut savoir par cœur tous les théories et règles de la nation. Cependant, si l’on ne plonge pas dans la piscine soi-même, on ne peut jamais nager. Avoir un grand vocabulaire peut nous donner un jolie maillot de bain, toutefois, il ne jamais nous entraîne de nager.

2020.10.21 Aujourd’hui, j’ai suivi un cours de français sur Italki. Mon professeur est très gentil. Nous avons discuté des films que nous aimons. Nous adorons le réalisateur américain Wes Anderson. Nous avons aussi parlé de musique. Je lui ai dit que j’aimais certains groupes de rock. Par exemple, The Beatles, Queen, et The Velvet Underground. Il m’a demandé si j’aimais des groupes contemporains, et c’est là que j’ai réalisé que j’écoutais rarement de la musique contemporaine. C’est vraiment intéressant parce que je n’ai jamais pensé à cette question avant. Je ne parle pas bien le français. Je crois que parfois c’était difficile pour lui de me comprendre, parce que la plupart du temps je n’ai savais pas non plus de quoi je parlais. J'espère que ce n’était pas une torture pour lui. Oh là là. Je dois pratiquer mon français plus fréquemment. Le français est plus difficile que l’anglais, mais c’est aussi une langue plus belle.

Resonance of A Silent Valley (Chapter 1) Today is the day. She squeezes her eyes to adapt to the brightness of the daylight. A backpack and a small suitcase are her entire belongings. With a peal of thunder coming from behind as the enormous gate firmly shuts, her life is turning to a new chapter. Though, she may not be aware of it at this moment. Standing in a crossroad, looking at different directions, she is completely perplexed: which path is leading home? She is scrutinizing every related detail in her memories, but her seeking fails in the end. She knows for certain that she has a home, because nearly every night she keeps dreaming about a lovely little girl with a dimple on the right cheek and a long scarce on the front head, whom she believes to be her daughter. She is trying to recall more details of her home and the little girl, but soon she feels dizzy and things become blurry: she sees a thousand faces swirling in front of her, people laughing, crying, running, screaming, kissing, fighting…… She firmly covers her ears and heavily shakes her head, trying to get rid of all the rumbling sounds and moving pictures, as she does every day. But this time, without prescribed medication, it doesn’t work anymore. The chill still prevails in the open air, but under the fabric of the bitter coldness, she can feel an imperceptible touch of warmness. She is not sure what day is today and whether it is the end of the winter or the beginning of the spring. She tries to recall what happened in the past that leads her to today, but the old days have already sunk into a deep dark valley that seems to absorb all lights and sounds. She gazes into the shadow, and the shadow is gazing back silently. All of a sudden, she seems to hear some resonance coming from the shades The incessant sound gradually dominates the darkness. She starts to run, but the sound keeps looming behind. What she doesn’t know is that she has no chance at all to escape. Nor does she know whether today is the prelude of her doom or the dawn of her redemption. Released after 27 years in prison, standing at the intersection of her life journey, she finally comes to the point where she can do nothing but to confront her deep-rooted fears and inescapable nightmares. (To be continued)

Love is the only key Friday, July 17th, 2020 Today is the second last day of my 14-day quarantine period. I have been staying in my tiny apartment for 13 days and it seems as long as a century. Everyday I read for at least 3 hours, learn new English vocabularies, and talk to myself in English which I find is quite useful. At least I can speak more fluently than I used to. The Covid-19 pandemic has affected our lives in every aspect.Now is a bad time for whole human beings, for we are facing countless upheavals, chaos, turbulences, sufferings, pains and loss. People are dying in hopelessness, separating from their loved ones, crying and grieving, worried and anxious about whether they might get infected by other Covid-19 patients. On the other hand, this moment might be a good opportunity for us too. Truths about life are revealing themselves to us. People are realizing what matters most by gazing into themselves and trying to figure out what are the values and virtues that they hold dear. People finally have time to read, write, and ponder on something that’s been bothering them for a long time. For us, now is the perfect moment to stop sidestepping our real problems, confront those tough questions with bravery, and attempt to answer them with sincerity and earnestness. I just hope everything would be ok. Though, “ok” is really a weak word, so are “perfect” or “fine”. I guess maybe the world is just imperfect. What we are trying to do is to make the best out of it by sharing our generous love, care, empathy and kindness with others who are our families, friends, strangers, or even the ones we hate. Because no matter how you decide to live your life or get through this tough time of trials and tribulations, at the end of the day, only love can conquer everything, not hatred, envy, resentment, disgust, or contempt. Yes, love is the only key to unlock the gentle grace; love is the unique path to access the inner peace.

Staying at home due to COVID-19: a disaster or an opportunity?(Part Three) Some of us might hold that staying at home makes individuals isolated from the world, but if we think deeply, engagement can be not just outwardly but inwardly, meaning it happens not only through in-person activities or communications (not to mention that many have established/joined online communities, or launched a fair amount of meaningful campaigns online), but also by reading news and true stories happening right now in the world, relearning histories, rethinking our relation with the world, and, most importantly, introspecting ourselves, all of which can be conducted at home, by ourselves, and free of charge. So all in all, what can we benefit from staying at home or self-isolation? The answer for me is this, stated in her commencement address at Harvard by the British novelist JK Rowling who quoted it from the Greek author Plutarch: “what we achieve inwardly will change outer reality". What we are experiencing today doesn’t set us apart; it brings us closer by offering us great opportunities to value our relationships and cherish each other much more; it encourages us to rethink and thus retreat our world, our lives and ourselves, by looking into the essences through the misty surfaces; it makes us less of a tool, but more of a human, by returning us our time which would otherwise have been spent on meaningless things. Far from being a disaster, staying at home due to COVID-19 is truly an opportunity. (p.s. I just found out that there is a restriction on the length of the article. So I divided my article into three parts and above is the last one. )

Staying at home due to COVID-19: a disaster or an opportunity?(Part Two) Another benefit of staying at home is that we have more time to spend with our beloved ones. To be clear, I don’t intend to say something about fathers being able to play with their kids or mothers teaching children to bake cookies, etc.. What stands out for me the most is that by being stuck together we now have an invaluable opportunity to re-learn things we thought we knew about our families and relationships. One of my friends just experienced a family crisis that she herself later joked about as “live melodrama”. Before COVID-19, she had a happy love life with his husband, or so she thought, until the pandemic struck and they both had to work from home. In the first month, life was as sweet as in a honey jar. “This is like a honeymoon with no need to go anywhere”, she said. I was happy for her since I knew they were always so busy with their work and really didn’t have time to enjoy life. But one night, she cried into her phone telling me that she wanted to divorce him. I couldn’t be more shocked and would definitely not take it seriously if there was not that emotional outburst. She said that she just found out how terrible he was with all those annoying habits of his, and that how much she felt depressed very time they argued fiercely over small, meaningless chores. If that was the case, I don’t think that things were going any south between them. In fact, I believe it is a great chance for them to rebuild their relationship by really getting to know each other, and have serious talks about their past, presence and future. If things work out at last, they will be happier and satisfied with their marriage and themselves. But even if they decided to divorce after sincere deep conversations, I believe they were doing this out of good reasons and for the best of themselves. (p.s. I just found out that there is a restriction on the length of the article. So I will divide my article into three parts and above is the second one. To be continued.)

Staying at home due to COVID-19: a disaster or an opportunity? (Part One) If you told someone the same time last year that, a year later, people around the world would have to stay at home doing self-isolation due to a worldwide pandemic, I believe most people would regard it a big joke. Sadly and sarcastically, this is "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth" at this moment of history. However, instead of whining and complaining about the situation, we can choose to look on the bright side and make efforts in doing meaningful things that benefit not just ourselves but people around us. In other words, we should try to make the best of the situation and turn it from a disaster into an opportunity. Staying at home affects our lives deeply in so many ways. I remember the first few weeks, after having watched tons of movies, I was so boring at home and really craved to hang out with my friends. I was gloomy, upset, anxious and even angry at last. But later one day, when I woke up in the morning and looked out of the window seeing the blue sky, feeling sunshine and breeze touching my face, I felt calm, peace and true happiness. I know it may sound exaggerative, but at that very moment, I swear, I felt "being" instead of just "living". You see, we have spent so many times living: work hard, study hard or even play hard, but the truth is that we don't spend enough time being with ourselves and introspecting: who I am? Being isolated at home is a fantastic opportunity for us to really look into ourselves and try to figure out the truths inside us. Because whenever we are with people, be it strangers, colleagues or beloved ones, we are always wearing masks with which we protect ourselves from being hurt. I don't imply that we are faking or being hypocritical, but wearing an invisible mask to pretend to be someone perfect and easy to get along with is our shared mechanism to cope with the outside world. So back to that morning I spoke of earlier, I was asking myself: what is my true passion and aspiration?; what is my pure desire without a monetary consideration?; and most of all, who am I? Luckily, I got my answer, which I should get long ago, but I believe it is never too late to know yourself. (p.s. I just found out that there is a restriction on the length of the article. So I will divide my article into two parts and above will be the first one. To be continued.)