jtkrk
Hey, I am writing a lyric and want to say: "I have been inside a rat race". There are two variations. I prefer the first, because the melody sounds better. But I believe, the sentence doesn't make sense. Without "in that" the sentence means "I have been a rat race", doesn't it? Or is that covered under "artistic freedom"? Variation 1: Tell me, how we supposed to be Inside the rat race I have been A shudder on my skin Variation 2: Tell me, how we supposed to be Inside the rat race in that I have been A shudder on my skin Would be glad about help! Thanks in advance!
11 Thg 08 2022 12:20
Câu trả lời · 3
1
How about a metaphor instead of a simile: How to cope, midst the chaos, midst the din, A rat in the race like how I've been [pronounced "bin" is OK] Thought sends shudders cross my skin
11 tháng 8 năm 2022
1
Without "in that", the sentence is "I have been inside the rat race", but you arrange the words in a different order. It does not mean "I have been a rat race." Variation 2, "Inside the rat race in that I have been" reads a little strange for a normal sentence. However, in a song, it could work. How about "running the rat race" instead of "inside the rate race"? However, "running" could change what you want to say in your song.
11 tháng 8 năm 2022
Thanks for your answers! @Matt: The verse sounds cool. Unfortunately, it has too much syllables to fit the melody. But thanks tho! :) @Alex Nguyen: That what I hoped to hear. So, Variation 1 (which I prefered) is correct. Happy about that. Actually, I am wondering why I was so confused about that sentence. Maybe, I thought just too much about it...
12 tháng 8 năm 2022
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