Flowee
ielts writing task1: line graph

http://content.ieltsonlinetests.com/fileman/Uploads/Images/ielts/3/3%20-%200102-1.jpg

The graph compared the proportion of American and Japanese who was unemployed over a period of 6 years

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It is obvious that the unemployed in America dropped out dramatically, while the figures of people who did not have jobs in Japanese increased.<o:p></o:p>

On march 1993, 7% of American did not have jobs which was fairly three times higher than Japan with around 2,5%.in the middle of the period, the percentage of unemployed in two countries changed significantly. In the United States, the number of people having job fell to around 5%. By contrast, the Japanese saw a rise of the unemployed, at around 4%<o:p></o:p>

The proportion of unemployed Americans declined gradually over the next 3 years, reaching just 5% at the end of the period. Conversely, the figures of Japanese who did not have job rose suddenly by 1%. Interestingly, the unemployment proportion of both countries was nearly the same in the end of the period.

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24 Thg 08 2016 09:52
Bình luận · 2
1

Hi Flowee,

If you wrote these activities in the NOTEBOOKS section you would get more corrections. The Notebooks is the section of the website addressed to correcting texts and being correct.


24 tháng 8 năm 2016


These are just a part of the needed correction:

The graph compared...

The line graph compares...

On march 1993, ...

In March 1993, ...

In paragraph 3 >> Rephrase  'have jobs'.  You have used it several times. 

24 tháng 8 năm 2016