In Spain, we use  this question instead:" ¿Me lo dices o me lo cuentas?

"¡No me digas!" 

"¡No jodas!"  You have to say them in a sarcastic way of course. The second one is more colloquial and kind of rude. And a sarcastic "gracias" works almost everywhere

you can also say "no me digas/jodas/gracias, Sherlock/capitán Obvio" . They have become popular lately. 

Actually you can be very creative when being sarcastic XD