Jose
Could anyone review this text?? THANK YOU VERY MUCH!! I remember when I went with my family to the beach three years ago. We went to Malaga because my brother was working there and we wanted to see him. Malaga has a lot of wonders but the best are its beaches. To my surprise, one day when my family and I were walking around the beach, we saw Will Smith, who is my favorite film star. I ran to him because I wanted him to sign an autograph. He was very polite and very friendly with me and in the end he signed it with a huge smile. It was one of the best days of my life because I met Will Smith. I suppose that one day we will meet in another situation when I have completed all my projects.
24 Thg 10 2014 10:38
Bài chữa · 2
1

Could anyone review this text?? THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!

 

I think its perfect - well done! Just one very small thing - it doesn't look good to repeat the same word in a sentence in this case, the word "him". So if you remove "him to sign" the meaning is still there.  I hope that helps :-)

 

I remember when I went with my family to the beach three years ago. We went to Malaga because my brother was working there and we wanted to see him. Malaga has a lot of wonders but the best are its beaches.

To my surprise, one day when my family and I were walking around the beach, we saw Will Smith, who is my favorite film star. I ran to him because I wanted him to sign an autograph. He was very polite and very friendly with me and in the end he signed it with a huge smile.

It was one of the best days of my life because I met Will Smith. I suppose that one day we will meet in another situation when I have completed all my projects.

24 tháng 10 năm 2014
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