i need some help
this is a composition about IELTS test,i hope someone can help me to find out some mistakes(grammar mistakes).Thank you very much.
This chart is displaying the dramatic changes in average house prices between 5 cities in 5 different countries respectively during 12 years compare with 1989's.
From 1990 to 1995,the decline of the average house prices of London and Tokyo are much more than New York,where decreased 5% since 1989.The marketing report from the information of Madrid and Frankfurt,at the meanwhile,shows an opposite situation which increased approximate 1.5% to 2% in five years.
As to immediate 7 years,from 1996 to 2002,the average house prices in most of cities we mentioned above achieved a big jump,in addition to Tokyo.Particularly,the percentage of rising of London increased by 20% compare with the level of last six years,skyrocket to 12% compare with 1989's,as well as,New York and Madrid get a soaring incremental about half of London's achievement.In contrast,Tokyo did not get an obvious improve where the prices still kept in-5% around.
Over all,the most obvious change in the average of house prices in 5 main cities in different countries between first 6 years since 1990 and next years until 2002 compare with 1989's,is trend is from coder to warmer.The main of presentation cities in USA,Spain,Germany and UK all stepped a big pace,which means they gradually get rid of negative growth.The only special city is in Japan,Tokyo,where the house prices is pretty much more stable than others.

Question

i need some help
this is a composition about IELTS test,i hope someone can help me to find out some mistakes(grammar mistakes).Thank you very much.
This chart is displaying the dramatic changes in average house prices between 5 cities in 5 different countries respectively during 12 years compare with 1989's.
From 1990 to 1995,the decline of the average house prices of London and Tokyo are much more than New York,where decreased 5% since 1989.The marketing report from the information of Madrid and Frankfurt,at the meanwhile,shows an opposite situation which increased approximate 1.5% to 2% in five years.
As to immediate 7 years,from 1996 to 2002,the average house prices in most of cities we mentioned above achieved a big jump,in addition to Tokyo.Particularly,the percentage of rising of London increased by 20% compare with the level of last six years,skyrocket to 12% compare with 1989's,as well as,New York and Madrid get a soaring incremental about half of London's achievement.In contrast,Tokyo did not get an obvious improve where the prices still kept in-5% around.
Over all,the most obvious change in the average of house prices in 5 main cities in different countries between first 6 years since 1990 and next years until 2002 compare with 1989's,is trend is from coder to warmer.The main of presentation cities in USA,Spain,Germany and UK all stepped a big pace,which means they gradually get rid of negative growth.The only special city is in Japan,Tokyo,where the house prices is pretty much more stable than others.

Answer

It would be better to do this as a notebook entry as it is much easier to write a corrected version. And also the formatting of relevant comments is a lot better.
There does appear to be some incorrect grammar and choice of words.

Answer

Plz post this in notebook entry, there it would be easy to correction with edit and format tools.

Answer

Hello, 
Overall, I'm pretty sure I understand what you are trying to say, but there are several things you could work on.  Some big ones are:
-check the the verb tense matches the time frame you are talking about. Since your dates talk about the past, you could write most of the essay in past tense
-articles (a and the): you found a lot of them, but there are several more that you missed (such as 'the last six years')
-word choice and phrase choice:I think that by main city, you mean 'capital city', and we just say 'meanwhile,' not 'at the meanwhile'
-prepositions: sometimes you misuse prepositions (of, for, from, at, etc).  "at the meanwhile" would be an example.

But like Michael said, it's very hard to give you comments in this form...

Đừng bỏ lỡ cơ hội học ngoại ngữ ngay tại nhà. Hãy xem danh sách các gia sư ngôn ngữ giàu kinh nghiệm của chúng tôi và đăng ký buổi học đầu tiên ngay hôm nay!