yes,the sentence is right. But better say: Whenever I make a mistake in English, please correct it for me.

It's technically correct, but "correct it for me please!" makes you sound angry and desperate. I'd think you were screaming. You can phrase it pleasantly and politely in a question. "Whenever I make a mistake in English, could you please correct it for me?"

Yep! That looks good Esraa!