2 Questions from "How I Met Your Mother" 1. Robin: I gotta get one of those blue French horns for over my fireplace. It's gotta be blue, it's gotta be French. Ted: No green clarinet? Robin: Nope. Ted: Come on, no purple tuba? Robin: It's a Smurf penis or no dice. Sorry for the dirty joke. What does "no dice" mean in this context? Ted had referred to the blue French horn he saw at the restaurant as "Smurf penis" in the previous scene. 2. Robin: I love a Scotch that's old enough to order its own Scotch. I simply don't understand what the sentence means.