Abdullah B
37/60 The perfect weather? Here we go again with the perfection definition, there is no such thing as perfect, even the weather can not be perfect due to we are mental creatures when we get used to things for a long time we get bored of it. Sometimes we have weird desires for things for no reason too. For instance, Usually, I like the cold weather in the winter but occasionally I do not. In this essay, I will describe the fantasy weather in the eyes of a human who lived his entire life in the desert. The greatest weather, in my opinion, is something such as rainy weather with less humidity. I would like to burn my skin of the sun every now and then too. I also don't want insects due to the rainy weather, leave them out of this picture, please. Hmm, Let's sort it on the seasons, so in the summer I want a decent temperature with rainy days from time to time to break the heat. Then the autumn I have nothing with you. Does it even exist? just throw it out of the window. After that it's winter, my favourite season, I would like a temperature between 1° to 20° without the troubles I see in Russia, please. Not forget to get some rain to change the air too. The last one is spring, make it as a break season between summer and winter. Therefore, get for me as many local weird shape fruits as you can. In the end, after some years I will get bored of this too awesome weather or will be looking for something more exciting.
15 Thg 07 2021 11:27
Bài chữa · 4
NGƯỜI ĐƯỢC MỜI
37/60 The perfect weather? Here we go again with the definition of perfection*, there is no such thing as perfect, even the weather cannot be perfect since** we are mental creatures when we get used to things for a long time we get bored of it. Sometimes we have weird desires for things for no reason too. For instance, Usually, I like the cold weather in the winter but occasionally I do not. In this essay, I will describe the fantasized*** weather in the eyes of a human who has lived his entire life in the desert. The greatest weather, in my opinion, is something such as rainy weather with less humidity. I would like to burn my skin off the sun every now and then too. I also don't want insects due to the rainy weather, leave them out of this picture, please. Hmm, Let's sort it on the seasons, so in the summer I want a decent temperature with rainy days from time to time to break the heat. Then to speak about Autumn, I have nothing with it. Does it even exist? just throw it out of the window. After that it's winter, my favourite season, I would like a temperature between 1° to 20° without the troubles I see in Russia, please. Do not**** forget to get some rain to change the air too. The last one is spring, make it like a break season between summer and winter. Also*****, get me as many local weird shape fruits as you can. In the end, after some years I will get bored of this too awesome weather or will be looking for something more exciting.
* Your sentence is correct, but this would be more clear. ** "Due to" would make the sentence longer. You may use it like "due to the fact that..." and it will make the sentence much longer. ***Fantasized would be a more correct usage. ****Pay attention to the usages of "do" please :) ***** In my opinion, "therefore" here is unnecessary and you may consider using something like "also" or "oh". Something like that :) Congratulations! You have improved so much! All of the things I have pointed out are just little tweaks to make the sentences more natural and flowing. You have no serious mistakes. Keep up the good work!
15 tháng 7 năm 2021
37/60 The perfect weather? Here we go again with the perfect definition, there is no such thing as perfect, even the weather can not be perfect, as we are mental creatures, when we get used to things for a long time we get bored of it. Sometimes, we have weird desires for things for no reason. For instance, usually, I like the cold weather in the winter but occasionally I do not. In this essay, I will describe the fantasy weather in the eyes of a human who lived his entire life in the desert. The greatest weather, in my opinion, is something such as a rainy weather with less humidity. I would like to burn my skin of the sun every now and then too. I also don't want insects due to the rainy weather, leave them out of this picture, please. Hmm, Let's sort it on the seasons, so in the summer I want a decent temperature with rainy days from time to time to break the heat. Then the autumn, I have nothing with you. Does it even exist? just throw it out of the window. After that it's winter, my favourite season, I would like a temperature between 1° to 20° without the troubles I see in Russia, please. Not to forget some rain to change the air too. The last one is spring, make it as a season break between summer and winter. Therefore, get for me as many local weird shape fruits as you can. At the end, after some years I might get bored of this too awesome weather or would be looking for something more exciting.
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17 tháng 7 năm 2021
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