Key takeaways
- “Who” is a subject pronoun: it replaces “he,” “she,” or “they” in a sentence.
- “Whom” is an object pronoun: it replaces “him,” “her,” or “them.”
- The he/him test works every time: if you can substitute “he” or “she,” use “who”; if “him” or “her” fits, use “whom.”
- In spoken informal English, “who” is widely accepted in both subject and object positions.
- “Whom” is essential in formal writing, academic work, and professional communication.
You know the rule exists, you vaguely remember something about subjects and objects, and you still hesitate every time you write “to who/whom it may concern.” This guide gives you the test that resolves the choice in every case, examples across common sentence types, and an honest account of when “whom” matters most. With 15+ years of language learning experience, italki connects you with English teachers who review your written English and explain grammar rules in the context of how you use the language.
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The he/him substitution test
If “he” or “she” fits: use who . If “him” or “her” fits: use whom . “Who/whom wrote the report?” — He wrote the report. He fits. Answer: Who wrote the report. “The manager asked who/whom to contact.” — The manager asked him to contact. Him fits. Answer: The manager asked whom to contact. “She is the person who/whom I recommended.” — I recommended her. Her fits. Answer: She is the person whom I recommended. Find an online English teacher on italki and practice the he/him test until it becomes automatic.
Who vs. whom in questions
| Question | Rearranged | Pronoun test | Answer |
|---|---|---|---|
| Who/whom did you call? | You did call him. | Him fits | Whom did you call? |
| Who/whom is coming? | She is coming. | She fits | Who is coming? |
| Who/whom did they hire? | They hired her. | Her fits | Whom did they hire? |
| Who/whom sent this? | He sent this. | He fits | Who sent this? |
Work through question structures with an English tutor so the correct form becomes natural.
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Who vs. whom in relative clauses
Who in relative clauses (subject): The employee who finished first got a bonus. We need someone who can lead the team. The teacher who helped me is retiring. Whom in relative clauses (object): The candidate whom we interviewed was highly qualified. She is the colleague whom I mentioned earlier. The person whom you should contact is listed below.
Common fixed phrases
| Phrase | Notes |
|---|---|
| To whom it may concern | Standard formal letter opening |
| Whom do I have the pleasure of addressing? | Formal phone or business greeting |
| With whom | After prepositions (to, for, with, by, from), “whom” is always correct |
Use formal phrases correctly by reviewing them with an English teacher during professional writing sessions.
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When informal usage accepts “who”
In everyday spoken English, “who” has largely replaced “whom” in conversation. “Whom” remains important in formal writing, business correspondence, and any context where grammatical precision is expected.
Common mistakes
“Whomever” when “whoever” is correct. Apply the he/him test: “Give this to whoever wants it.” He fits, so use “whoever.” Using “who” after a preposition.“I do not know with who she left” is wrong. After a preposition, always use “whom”: “I do not know with whom she left.” “Who” when the pronoun is really an object.“He is the person who I called” is incorrect in formal writing. Use “whom”: “He is the person whom I called.” Learn who/whom habits faster through direct feedback on your writing. Over 10 million learners worldwide trust italki’s 30,000+ tutors for personalized language support.Book a trial lesson today and ask your teacher to help you review a piece of writing where you have used who/whom.
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FAQ
Can I always use “who” in conversation?
In spoken informal English, yes. The distinction matters most in writing, formal speech, and professional contexts. What is “whomsoever” and do I need to use it? “Whomsoever” is an archaic formal word. In modern English, it appears only in very formal legal or literary contexts. You do not need it. Is “who” becoming the accepted standard for all uses? Prescriptive style guides still require “whom” in object position for formal writing. For conversation and informal communication, “who” throughout is standard practice for most English speakers.
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