A Summary of a Ted Talk(2)
Thank you for reading my passage. I would be grateful if you could point out my mistakes.
In this video, the speaker, Nigel Marsh told us how to achieve a work-life balance.
To lead in, Nigel started <s>with</s> by sharing his experiences of working too much as well as that of relaxing too much, which signalled [...which resulted in...] his failure to achieve <s>the</s> good work-life balance. However, through 7-years of working, he had managed to do that. And he shared four insights about how to make work-life balance work <s>with</s> for the audience.
Firstly, to make headway on this issue, we need to concentrate on the core problem, which is that certain job and career choices are fundamentally incompatible with being balanced in work-life [...incompatible with being in a good work-life balance relationship]. Back in reality, people merely concentrate on trivial matters such as dress-down Fridays or paternity leave, which almost can’t help solve the problem at all.
Secondly, we individuals rather than governments or corporations are responsible for how we lead our lives. The DNA in all the commercial companies determines that they would try their best to make the most out of us. So we ourselves have got to take the initiative to set and enforce the boundaries in our life.
Thirdly, have a good grasp of scale when deciding how to strike a balance between work and life. On one hand, you can’t fancy working only 6 hrs per day and relaxing in the time remaining [...relaxing the rest of the time]. On the other, putting off having a life until retirement is also too much. So there’s got to be a middle way [more common : middle path/ middle ground].
Fourthly, to be balanced, we need to cover many aspects including intellectual, emotional and spiritual ones. Nigel showed a counter-example of his friend trying to achieve the balance by simply going to the gym, which is far from enough. Covering all bases is easily deemed challenging. In spite of this, we could start <s>from</s> small and progress from there. Nigel shared a story of himself with his son Harry to prove its possibility.
Achieving a work-life balance step by step not only improves people’s <s>life</s> quality of life but also helps transform the way our society defines success.
Hardly any mistakes. It's very well written, well done. In blue are suggestions only. Don't forget to leave a line space between paragraphs, it looks a lot better and makes it easier on the reader.
"strike a balance" is a phrase. It means to find a medium, middle ground or balance between something.