Modern Dating Terms A-Z: Your Ultimate Relationship Dictionary

If you’ve ever been ghosted, breadcrumbed, or left wondering what a “situationship” even is, you’re not alone. Dating terms change faster than most of us can keep up with, and honestly? Modern dating has its own entire language now.

Whether you’re trying to figure out if you’re being benched, wondering if that person is love bombing you, or just want to understand what your Gen Z friends are talking about when they mention their “textlationship,” this guide has you covered. We’re breaking down 100+ dating terms from A to Z so you can understand modern romance without needing a translator.

Think of this as your dating dictionary. Everything from the newest Gen Z relationship terms to the manipulative behaviors you need to watch out for. Some of these will make you laugh, some will make you cringe, and some will make you go “oh THAT’S what that’s called.”

And if you’re learning a new language and want to talk about dating and relationships with native speakers? italki connects you with native English tutors who can help you practice real conversations, because dating vocabulary is definitely something that comes up in real life.

Let’s decode modern dating, one term at a time.

What are Gen Z dating terms?

Gen Z has created new vocabulary for modern relationships that goes way beyond traditional dating language. These relationship terms help people name specific behaviors, set boundaries, and talk about what they’re experiencing. Here’s every dating term you need to know.

A

Affordating – Going on budget-friendly dates without sacrificing the fun. Think picnics, free museum days, hiking, or cooking together instead of expensive restaurants. It’s about creativity over cost, and honestly, some of the best dates don’t cost much at all.

Algo Match – When a dating app algorithm pairs you with someone based on your behavior, interests, or preferences. You know how Netflix knows what you want to watch? Same energy, but for dating.

Attachment Bomb – When someone comes on way too strong about commitment really early, like talking about moving in together or meeting the parents after two dates. Different from love bombing because it’s specifically about pushing for serious attachment too fast.

B

BAE – Short for “before anyone else.” Your bae is your main person, your significant other, the one you prioritize. It’s basically Gen Z’s version of saying “my person.”

Bad Pancake – The first person you date after a breakup. They’re called the bad pancake because, like the first pancake you make, they’re practice, helping you figure out what you want but not meant to be the final product.

BDE – That quiet confidence someone has without being loud or arrogant. It’s knowing your worth without needing to prove it. Has nothing to do with actual anatomy; it’s all about the vibe.

Beige Flag – Something that’s not a red flag but makes you pause. Like when someone’s dating profile says “just ask” to every prompt, or they have zero strong opinions about anything. It’s not bad, just… bland? Could also mean quirky habits that aren’t dealbreakers but are definitely noticeable.

Benching – Keeping someone interested just enough to have them as a backup option, but never actually committing. Like keeping them on the bench while you play the field. Pretty crappy move, honestly.

Breadcrumbing – Sending just enough texts, likes, or attention to keep someone interested without ever planning real dates or moving the relationship forward. It’s giving someone crumbs of attention instead of the whole meal.

C

Catch Feels – When you start developing real romantic feelings for someone, usually when you weren’t planning to. Like “we were just hooking up but now I’m catching feels.”

Catfishing – Pretending to be someone you’re not online, usually with fake photos and made-up details. Named after the 2010 documentary that exposed this whole phenomenon.

Cherry Bombing – Dropping small, playful flirtations instead of going all-in with grand romantic gestures. Light and fun, like adding little cherries on top rather than overwhelming someone.

Cloaking – The ultimate ghosting move. Someone stands you up for a date AND immediately blocks you on everything. Brutal.

Conscious Uncoupling – Breaking up in a mature, thoughtful way where both people remain respectful and try to end things amicably. Gwyneth Paltrow made this term famous, but the concept is actually pretty healthy.

Cookie Jarring – Treating someone like a backup cookie you’re saving for later. You keep them around “just in case” your current situation doesn’t work out, but you’re not genuinely interested right now.

Cuffing Season – That time of year (usually fall through winter) when people suddenly want to couple up and have someone to cuddle with during the cold months. Come spring, many of these relationships end. It’s seasonal dating.

Cushioning – Flirting with other people while you’re in a relationship, keeping them as “cushions” in case your current relationship fails. Basically planning your soft landing before you even jump.

D

D-AI-ting – Using AI and algorithms to enhance your dating experience. From AI-powered matches to using ChatGPT to write your bio (we see you), technology is everywhere in modern dating.

Date of View – A date that feels more like a job interview than a fun time. You’re getting rapid-fire questions about your career, goals, five-year plan, and it’s exhausting rather than exciting.

Delulu – Short for “delusional.” Being unrealistic about your dating situation, like thinking you have a future with your celebrity crush or convincing yourself someone likes you when they clearly don’t.

Delusionship – A relationship that exists mainly in your head. You’ve built up this whole fantasy about someone you barely know or who isn’t actually that into you.

DINK – Dual Income No Kids. A lifestyle where couples focus on their careers and freedom, choosing not to have children. Not new as a concept, but the term went viral on TikTok.

Down Bad – Being desperately, obviously attracted to someone to the point where you’ve lost all chill. Like texting them way too much or doing embarrassing things to get their attention.

Dry Dating – Going on dates without alcohol so you can be fully present and genuine. No liquid courage, just authentic connection.

Dry-Texting – Sending short, boring replies like “ok,” “lol,” or “yeah.” Shows low effort and usually means someone’s not that interested.

DTR – “Define the Relationship.” That conversation where you ask “what are we?” and actually put a label on things.

E

Eco-Dumping – Breaking up with someone because they don’t share your environmental values. Like ending things because they refuse to recycle or don’t care about climate change.

Emotional Labor – The mental and emotional work involved in maintaining a relationship; planning dates, remembering important details, managing conflicts, checking in. In healthy relationships, this load is shared.

Enmeshment – When a couple becomes so intertwined that boundaries disappear and individual identities get lost. It looks cute on the surface but it’s actually unhealthy.

Exclusivity – When you both agree you’re only dating each other. Not quite “in a relationship” yet, but definitely not seeing other people either.

Eyecontactship – When you keep making intense eye contact with someone and convince yourself it means something deep. Spoiler: it usually doesn’t.

F

Fexting – Fighting with your partner via text. Terrible idea but we’ve all done it. Dr. Jill Biden actually coined this term.

Fifty/Fifty – A relationship where everything is split equally: bills, chores, emotional labor, decision-making. True partnership with balanced responsibilities.

Flashpanning – Rushing to define the relationship and make it official super quickly, like gold panners trying to strike it rich fast. Usually leads to burnout.

Flirtationship – That friendship with clear flirting and chemistry, but neither person makes a move to turn it into something more. You’re more than friends but not quite dating.

FLR (Female-Led Relationship) – A relationship where the woman takes the lead in decision-making, planning, and traditionally “dominant” roles. A modern dynamic that challenges traditional gender roles.

Flowmance – When everything clicks effortlessly between you and someone. The conversation flows naturally, there’s no awkwardness, and it feels like you’ve known each other forever.

Freckling – A summer romance that disappears when the weather gets cold, like freckles fading in winter. They appear when it’s sunny and vanish when it’s not.

Freak Matching – Looking for someone who shares your specific quirks and interests. Like finding someone who’s equally obsessed with true crime podcasts or collects the same weird stuff you do.

Friend Zone – When one person has romantic feelings but the other only sees them as a friend. Tale as old as time.

Future-Proofing – Asking important compatibility questions early on to see if you’re aligned long-term. Like discussing kids, where you want to live, career goals, making sure you’re on the same page before getting too invested.

FWB (Friends With Benefits) – Two friends who hook up without the commitment of a relationship. Works great until someone catches feels.

G

Gaslighting – Manipulating someone into questioning their own reality, memory, or perceptions. “I never said that,” “You’re being crazy,” “That didn’t happen”, making you doubt yourself. Serious emotional abuse.

Ghosting – When someone disappears completely without explanation. No text, no call, no closure. Just gone.

Glow Up – A major transformation in appearance, confidence, or life circumstances. That post-breakup glow where you look and feel amazing.

Gray Rocking – Becoming boring and unresponsive to distance yourself from someone without drama. You give flat, uninteresting responses until they lose interest.

Green Flag – Positive signs that someone is a good partner, they communicate well, respect boundaries, show up consistently, treat you with kindness.

Groundhog Dating – Dating the same type of person repeatedly and expecting different results. Like that Bill Murray movie but with your love life.

H

Hardballing – Being completely upfront about what you want from the very first date. No games, no ambiguity, just honest intentions.

Hard Launch – Making your relationship fully official on social media with clear photos and announcements. The opposite of a soft launch where you drop subtle hints.

I

Ick – That sudden turn-off feeling you get from something small and usually superficial. Like seeing your crush wear socks with sandals and instantly losing all attraction.

ILY – “I love you,” but make it casual and texty.

Imaginationship – A relationship that exists entirely in your imagination. You’ve had maybe two conversations but you’ve already planned your wedding.

Insta-Stalking – Deep-diving into someone’s Instagram feed to learn everything about them. Going back months (or years) through their photos. Just don’t accidentally like something from 2019.

Intentional Dating – Dating with purpose and clear goals. You know what you want and you only invest time in people who could realistically be compatible.

K

Kittenfishing – A lighter version of catfishing. Using old photos, strategic angles, or minor exaggerations on your profile – not fake, just… enhanced. Like saying you’re 6 feet when you’re really 5’10”.

L

Longdez-vous – An extremely long first date that just keeps going because you’re having such a good time. What started as coffee turns into dinner, then drinks, then a walk…

Loud-Looking – Making it obvious you’re single and looking, whether through how you dress, act, or present yourself on apps. The opposite of keeping it subtle.

Love Bombing – Overwhelming someone with excessive affection, compliments, and gifts early on as a manipulation tactic. It feels amazing at first but it’s usually a red flag for controlling or narcissistic behavior.

Love Haze – That intoxicating early phase where you’re completely consumed by someone and everything feels magical. The honeymoon period on steroids.

M

Main Character Era – When you’re prioritizing yourself, living your best life, and treating yourself like the star of your own movie. Usually happens when you’re happily single and thriving.

Micro-Cheating – Small acts of emotional or digital betrayal that aren’t full-on cheating but still cross boundaries. Like flirty DMs, hiding a friendship, or maintaining a dating app “just to look.”

Micro-mance – Small, thoughtful gestures that show someone cares. Sending memes, checking in throughout the day, remembering little details. The tiny things that actually mean a lot.

N

Nanoship – An even shorter, more casual connection than a situationship. Like you hooked up once or twice and now you’re in this weird limbo.

Negging – Giving backhanded compliments or subtle insults to undermine someone’s confidence and make them seek your approval. Manipulation disguised as flirting.

Netflix and Chill – The not-so-subtle code for “come over and hook up.” Literally no one actually watches Netflix.

O

Open Relationship – A committed relationship where both partners agree they can also see or sleep with other people. Requires serious communication and boundaries.

Orbiting – When an ex stops talking to you but still watches all your Instagram stories and likes your posts. They’re staying in your orbit without actually reconnecting.

P

Pansexual – Being attracted to people regardless of gender. It’s about the person, not what’s in their pants.

Phubbing – Snubbing someone by paying attention to your phone instead of them. Phone + snubbing = phubbing.

Pocketing – Keeping your relationship hidden from friends and family. They won’t post you on social media or introduce you to their people.

R

Red Flag – Warning signs that someone might be toxic, manipulative, or just not right for you. Trust your gut on these.

Rizz – Charisma, charm, the ability to attract people effortlessly. “He’s got rizz” means he knows how to flirt and make people interested.

Roaching – When you find out the person you’re dating is also seeing multiple other people (and hiding it from all of you). Like discovering roaches—where there’s one, there’s usually more.

Roommate Syndrome – When your romantic relationship starts feeling more like platonic roommates. Less intimacy, fewer dates, just coexisting.

Roster – The multiple people someone is casually dating or talking to at once. “She’s got a whole roster.”

S

Self-Partnered – Choosing to be single and partnering with yourself instead. Emma Watson popularized this term for people who are happily single by choice.

Ship – Short for “relationship.” Also means supporting a potential or actual couple. “I ship them so hard.”

Shrekking – Choosing someone you perceive as less attractive, thinking they’ll treat you better because they’ll feel lucky to have you. Named after Shrek winning the princess. Kind of messed up, honestly.

Simmer Dating – Taking things slow to build a deeper emotional connection before rushing into anything physical or serious.

Situationship – More than friends, less than a relationship. You’re hanging out, maybe hooking up, but there’s no label or commitment.

Slow Burn – A relationship that develops gradually over time instead of rushing into things. The opposite of flashpanning.

Slow Fade – Gradually reducing contact instead of having an honest conversation about ending things. Less brutal than ghosting but still frustrating.

Sneaky Link – A secret hookup buddy that nobody knows about. Very hush-hush.

Sober Dating – Same as dry dating, connecting without alcohol to keep things clear and authentic.

Soft Launch – Subtly hinting you’re in a relationship on social media without showing your partner’s face. Like posting a photo of hands holding or a mysterious shoulder in the frame.

Soulmate – That deep connection where someone just gets you on every level. Whether you believe in “the one” or think you can have multiple soulmates at different life stages.

Soul Tie – An intense emotional and spiritual bond with someone that feels almost cosmic. Different from soulmate; it’s about that deep energetic connection.

Stashing – Keeping your relationship secret and refusing to acknowledge it publicly or to friends and family.

Stonewalling – Shutting down emotionally during conflict, giving the silent treatment, walking away, or refusing to engage. Major communication killer.

Swag Gap – When there’s a perceived coolness difference between partners. Like one person is effortlessly cool and the other feels less so.

Swamping – Letting your polished presentation drop and getting comfortable; showing up in sweats, no makeup, messy hair. Being your authentic self instead of performing.

T

Talking Stage – That phase before you’re officially dating where you’re texting constantly, maybe hanging out, getting to know each other. Not quite a relationship yet.

Text Anxiety – Stressing about texting frequency, response times, and what messages mean. The modern dating struggle of reading into every “lol” and wondering why they took 3 hours to reply.

Textlationship – A relationship that exists almost entirely through texting. You text all day every day but rarely actually see each other in person.

Thirsty – Desperately seeking attention or validation, usually in an obvious way. Posting thirst traps or being overly eager.

Twin Flame – An intense soul connection based on the idea that one soul split into two bodies. Different from a soulmate, it’s supposed to be your perfect mirror.

U

Untyping – When someone is typing a message (you see those three dots) and then stops without sending anything. Leaves you wondering what they were going to say.

V

Vibe-Based Dating – Choosing partners based on energy and emotional connection rather than checking boxes or following a type.

Villain Era – That phase after heartbreak where you prioritize yourself ruthlessly, set hard boundaries, and maybe act a little cold. You’re done being the nice one.

W

Wokefishing – Pretending to have progressive political or social views to attract someone, when you don’t actually believe those things.

Y

Yap-Trapping – When someone talks endlessly about themselves on a date without asking you anything or letting you get a word in.

Yellow Flag – Something that’s not quite a red flag but worth paying attention to. A caution sign that you should keep an eye on.

Z

Zaddy – An attractive, stylish, confident man (usually older). Like a daddy but make it cool.

Zombieing – When someone ghosts you and then randomly reappears weeks or months later acting like nothing happened. “Hey stranger” texts after total radio silence.

Your dating dictionary cheat sheet

Now you know what to call it when someone’s breadcrumbing you, when you’re stuck in a textlationship, or when you catch the ick. Understanding these dating terms helps you spot red flags, set better boundaries, and make smarter choices about who deserves your time.

Want to practice talking about dating and relationships in another language? italki connects you with native speakers who can help you have real conversations about love, cultural differences, or what all these terms mean in different languages. Every culture has its own version of “situationship.”

Save this guide, share it with your friends, and remember: whether you’re soft-launching a new relationship or thriving in your villain era, you’ve got this.

Happy dating (or happy being single)!